Jill's POV
1 week later
• Grier's leaving day •
Last chapter!
Everything is packed and out of the house. Today was the day. I don't think I've cried this much my whole entire life.
Rachel and Nash were here. They were in a different room saying goodbye to each other. I said goodbye to all the Grier's: except for Hayes.
That's what I'm doing right now. Filming a YouTube video with him, saying what we felt and just saying our goodbyes.
A/N: reminder if it's in italics then they are saying it to the camera.
We were both crying, even if we tried not to.
"You taught me this one big lesson regarding regret. You see, I was always afraid of outcomes—it really got in the way of a lot of great opportunities. The same way I was afraid of you breaking my heart in the end, but I loved you anyway. And people would expect me to say that I would never spoken a word to you had I known what I know now. You killed me; you made me go through hell and back. But you see, the thing is, I thought about it. I thought about literally going back and changing all of it. And I found myself not wanting to change a single damn fucking thing. Cause I look back, and I'm thinking, 'Cause Jesus Christ, those feelings were beautiful. We were beautiful.' Sure, it breaks my heart every time I look at you, knowing the things I know and that you are moving. Then I realized you are not in my life anymore. And I realized despite the pain, I am glad I know everything about you. Like your quirks, morning routine, what you like to put in your coffee. Literally everything. I'm glad I got to have my dream come true, even just for a little while; to have gotten to know you, to have you in my life, because for awhile, you made me completely happy and you made life worth it. You made me experience the most beautiful of butterflies in my stomach and I got to witness the most mesmerizing smile in your eyes or beauty of the way you smiled. So thank you for that. I owe you everything." I say.
Hayes looks at me and then glances at the camera to speak.
"She told me she loved me first. And I told her that I loved her. Even if I wasn't sure if I did, I felt it common to say it back. And maybe that was wrong of me, but then slowly I began to realized that I loved her with all of earth being. I loved the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed, the way her smile would bring warmth to my chest which reminded me of a lazy summer afternoon for some odd reason, the way she made me feel like I could do anything even if I didn't believe it myself. I fell in love with her a little more each day. And by the end of the day, I felt the words 'I love you' didn't even come close to expressing what I felt for her."
He looks at me as I wipe my tears. He grabs my hand and tears are welled up in his eyes. He turns back to the camera to continue speaking.
"The first day I met Jill, would have to be the memory I will never forget. She came over to my house for dinner and I was on the couch and she was playing with my little sister, Skylynn. I was on Instagram and she was asking what I was doing. I told her I was looking at a pretty girls Instagram. I knew she got jealous, so she walked out of the front room. I chased after her, even though she didn't know that pretty girl I was stalking, was her all along."
Tears were going down my eyes and Hayes takes his free hand to wipe them. I give a slight smile. This YouTube video was winding down.
"I think we had the kind of love people spend their whole lives looking for. And once they lose it, they spend their whole lives trying to forget. Most people don't understand it because they may have never experienced it. And that's okay. It's okay if people look at me funny when I start crying in the middle of the street. They don't understand the way it makes my heart feel to watch something so fucking beautiful just disintegrate without being able to put it back together. Even if I never get over this fully, even if I never find love the same again, I realized how lucky I am to be able to experience that with Hayes. We were two teenagers who didn't understand what love was till we fell to deeply into it. I don't think everybody is given the same capacity of love. I loved you so much I didn't want their to be anyone else. I still don't want their to be anyone else. I loved you so fully that we didn't need anything else. But now you are moving so there can't be an us anymore. I know you are going to make someone so happy one day. They are going to fall asleep laughing and fall in love with Monday mornings. I know because I used to be that her. Everything with you was beautiful. You were beautiful. You showed me and taught me and helped me grow into the person I am who I am today. And part of you will always be inside me. Thank you for that. Thank you for teaching me how to open my heart up to that kind of love I have never experienced before. Thank you for trusting me and for allowing me to trust you. Thank you for loving the stupidest parts of me. Thank you for letting me cry a lot. Thank you for admiring my sensitivity. Thank you for listening. Thank you for every single thing you've done for me. You have taught me more than I could have ever imagined learning. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for stopping." I say.
"There's no more Jayes. No more anything. This is all bullshit. I just want you guys to know I will never love anyone more than I have loved Jill Watts."
I look at Hayes and back at the camera.
"This is not a goodbye. But a see you soon from Hayes and I."
We both cover up the camera with our hands and that was that.
..
"I love you, Jill Watts."
"And I love you, Hayes Grier. Forever and always."
"Thank you for letting me have the privilege to fall in love with you, Jill."
"You're welcome," I say, whispering as tears come down.
He places a small kiss on my forehead.
"Goodbye, Jill."
"Don't say goodbye, say see you soon." I say with a crack in my voice.
He gives me a slight smile and I can't help but cry seeing that's the last time I'll ever see that smile.
I didn't think it would hurt this bad till I gave all the Grier's a hug. And saying goodbye to Sky, Elizabeth, Nash, Chad, Nash, and Hayes together. This hurt. So bad. Now I have to go back to Cali.
I didn't think it hurt this bad till I saw them get in the car and leave.
Rachel stands by me on the side of the street, just staring at the road, showing no emotion what so ever.
"Falling in love is a strange thing. It's kind of like you are swimming and somewhere along the way a tidal wave drags you into the deep end. And at some point you wake up and you realize you're not swimming anymore, you're sinking. Sometimes you'll get your head above water just long enough to see that they're not sinking with you, they're standing on the shore watching you drown. Sounds scary, oh it is. Falling in love is the most dangerous things a human ever lets themselves do."
"Then why do people do it?"
"Because sometimes you'll find the one worth sinking for and just before your heads been under water for a moment too long, just before you give up, just before you stop the current, they'll drag you to shore and you'll grasp for fresh air and it'll be the most beautiful thing you've ever because they are your fresh air."
I look at Rachel as tears stroll down and hit the sidewalk one by one.
There are 7 billion people in the world along with 301 countries and 7 seas and some how I managed to to have fallen in love with Hayes Benjamin Grier.
I guess I just needed to look between the lines.
The End.
