A Place for My Heart

chapter 17

Cristiano

I felt her tears roll slowly onto my shoulder and down my back. Rose was sobbing softly in my arms, and I was holding her as tightly as I could. I just wanted to take away her pain, but I knew I had been the one to cause it today. She had told me how much she liked Mesut, how happy she was with him. And I had messed it up for her.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“You can’t… you can’t be in love with me. You’re not allowed to be in love with me.” She said, still sobbing. I didn’t know what to say to her. “Cris, take me home, please.”

I nodded, pulling my pants back on and stepping out of the car to go the driver’s seat. I gave a few minutes to get dressed while I waited outside the car. I must have given her too much time though, because she stepped out of the car as well.

“Cris?” She said, looking over to me.

I turned to look at her, to tell her I was sorry, to say anything really. But I just couldn’t. I wasn’t sorry I was in love with her. There was nothing I could say that would make her feel better.

She walked over to stand next to me. I was leaning against the car and I grabbed her waist, moving her so she was standing in front of me, pulling her close.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered finally. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. I was being stupid and selfish, I never wanted to see you cry again.”

“It’s not your fault, Cris.” She sighed. “I wasn’t drunk this time. I don’t have an excuse, I should have been able to say no.”

“I’ll take you home,” I said, opening the door for her.

The drive to her apartment was silent. I walked her to her door, and when she opened it we were both shocked.

Mesut was in her apartment.

Mesut

Valerie and Sergio had let me in about ten minutes ago, and I had been waiting for Rose to come home from work. She was with Cristiano, and they both looked confused to see me.

“Hey beautiful,” I got up to give her a kiss. She was stiff and unresponsive, and she looked exhausted.

“I um, I just gave her a ride home from work. I gotta get going, I’ll see you two later.” Cris said, leaving.

“Are you okay?” I said, grabbing Rose by the shoulders. She looked like a zombie, I was worried about her.

She nodded. “What are you doing here?”

“I was out today, and I saw something I thought you would like. Do you want to go to your room?” I asked. Sergio and Valerie were in the living room.

She nodded and took my hand, leading me to her room. She closed the door behind us and sat on her bed, gesturing for me to do the same. I pulled out a box from my pocket and opened it. I had gotten her a necklace from Tiffanys, it was a delicate little chain with a heart.

“Mesut….” She sighed, looking at it.

“I saw it and immediately thought of how beautiful it would look on your neck,” I said, putting it on her.

“It’s so beautiful,” she whispered.

I leaned in to kiss her, caressing her face. Something was wrong though. It felt like she was reluctant to kiss me back, like she wasn’t sure what to do.

“Are you okay?” I asked again, pulling away.

She nodded. “I just need to take a nap I think. Work made me really tired, I’m just going to go take a shower and call it a night.”

“Oh. Okay, well I’ll see you later then, I guess.”

“Thank you so much for the necklace Mesut,”

“I wanted to tell you something before I leave.”

“What?”

“I love you,” There. I had told her. I needed her to know how much I cared about her, she was the one I wanted for the rest of my life.

“Oh. Um. I um… thank you?” She stuttered.

Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for. There were a few seconds of awkward silence before I kissed her goodnight and went home.

Rose

I went into the bathroom wanting to bang my head against the wall until I passed out. What the fuck was wrong with me?! Mesut told me he loved me and I said thank you. Who says thank you after someone tells you they love you? Cristiano told me he loved me while I was having sex with him, and I had said nothing.

Why had I done this to myself? Why couldn’t I just have said no to Cristiano? I cared about Mesut, I really did. He was so sweet and he looked after me. But with Cris…there was that passion, that need. That desire that would not go away, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that Mesut was the man I wanted.

I splashed some water on my face, hoping it would clear my head up. I looked like a mess, my hair was dishevelled, my makeup smudged. I touched the necklace Mesut had just given me. He was the perfect man, why couldn’t I just be happy with him? Why did I have to go and screw everything up yet again?

I took a long, hot shower then went to see Valerie. She was my only friend, and I needed to tell someone how I was feeling before I exploded.

“Val I did something really stupid,” I said, flopping onto her bed.

“What’d you do?” She said, putting her laptop away.

“I um, I fucked my boyfriend’s teammate.”

“Wait, what?! You did what?”

I buried my face in her pillow, trying hard not to start crying again.

“I slept with Cristiano,” I spoke into the pillow.

“How? When? Where?!”

“I don’t know how, today, in his Lamborghini.”

“Wow.” She said, stunned.

“I’m an idiot! An absolute idiot! Mesut told me he loved me today,” I sobbed.

“Oh babe,” she said, hugging me.

“I don’t know what to do,” I sobbed into her shoulder. “I can’t tell Mesut, he’ll be crushed.”

“We’ll figure it out,” she cooed, running her hand over my hair.

“Val, why am I such a fuck up?”

“You’re not. We’ll figure out what to do, alright? Right now I’m going to find some incredibly fatteing food, then we’re going to watch Mean Girls and try to forget about footballers for tonight, okay?”

I nodded, wiping away my tears.