A Place for My Heart

chapter 26

Rose

“Mesut?” I called out softly, treading gently up the stairs in his house. I still had the key to his place. “Mes, where are you?”

I didn’t hear anything in response and I went to check his room. I knocked on the door gently, calling his name again. There was no response so I opened it anyway, walking in and looking around.

I took a sharp breath as I surveyed the state of his room. It was an utter mess, clothes were strewn everywhere, empty alcohol bottles littering his floor. And the worst of all, Mesut was lying on the floor in a pile of shattered glass, passed out with a beer bottle in his hand.

I walked over to him and shook him slightly. “Mesut?”

His eyes opened and the corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile. “Rose.” He sighed.q

“Mesut…you’re such a mess.”

He laughed a little. “It’s alright. Everything’s alright. You’re here.”

I pushed his hair out of his face. “Get up, Mes.”

He nodded, using his hands to push himself up, and then reaching for my hand to help him stand to his feet. I pulled him up and sat him down on his bed. That was when I noticed the glass stuck in his palm.

“Mesut…I’m going to pull this out really quick. Okay?” He nodded. “Okay. One, two-” I pulled and he flinched slightly.

“You’re here.” He repeated, slightly dazed and slurring his words.

I nodded. “I’m here.” I looked through his bedside drawers for a bandage. I found one and wrapped his palm up tightly.

“You’re so beautiful.” He murmured.

“Mes, go to sleep. You’re too drunk.”

He nodded, falling down on the bed and dragging me with him. I tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he shook his head.

“Don’t leave me. Not again.” he whispered right before he fell asleep.

—

I woke up with my hands on Mesut’s chest. His abs had become a lot more defined since I had first met him, and they felt rock hard underneath my palms. He had his arms around my waist, and he was still fast asleep. I tried to wriggle out of his arms again without waking him up, but I failed. He woke up and stared at me for a few seconds, as if he was trying to remember why I was there.

“Hey,” he murmured, his arms still around me.

“Mes, let go.”

He shook his head, and then brought his head down to my lips. He kissed me with more passion than he ever had, his tongue attacking my mouth, his hands pulling me up and on top of him. He grabbed handfuls of my shirt, twisting them in his fists.

“I love you,” he whispered, breaking the kiss for a second.

“I know,” I replied, biting my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “Mesut, I shouldn’t be here.”

“Please don’t leave me.” He said softly, I was barely able to hear it. “I love you.”

“Mes…. I spent the last week with Cristiano.” I said, agony ripping through my heart.

A tear fell from his eye and rolled down his cheek agonizingly slowly. “Is it that easy for you?”

“What?”

“Is it that easy for you to just forget about me? To forget about us?”

“I don’t even know what we are anymore….” I said, hating myself more and more with every passing second. I couldn’t open my mouth without hurting someone I loved.

“We’re nothing. Nothing. You can forget about everything. Forget about the past few months.”

“Mesut, don’t -“

“Don’t what? Don’t tell you the truth? Rose, we’re nothing. Go be with Cristiano. It’s what you both want.”

“Don’t do this.” I sobbed.

“Don’t do what?!” He yelled. “Go, Rose! He loves you, you love him, you’re just a big fucking happy family. Just leave.”

“I love you.”

“Why are even here? Why did you come?”

“I don’t know, Mesut! You needed me! I was scared, I was scared you would do something stupid, I was scared of losing you!” I blurted out.

“You’ve already lost me.” He got up, grabbing my hand roughly and pulling me to his bedroom door. “Out. Show yourself out. I’m done. Done, Rose.”