When I grow up | JiHan

Chapter 3 : Junghan

I dialed the radio station's number. Will I do it? What if he recognize my voice? Why do I always give a fuck, just for once junghan, I miss him, the hell he cares. I miss him so much that I'm starting to lose my sanity. I'm really out of my mind right now am I? Who in the right mind would call his ex? I hit the call button in frustration. My eyes went wide, it started ringing and he answered it.

"H-hi" I said, I'm screwed, "Hey DJ Ji-Joshua"
I slapped my face, stop stuttering.

"Hi there caller no. 4" he said cheerfully, "What can I do for you?" Oh wow he's so cheerful like nothing happened to him 4 weeks ago, maybe he really had moved on. Maybe it was all a joke for him.

"I would like to r-request a song" darn it I stuttered again.

"What song?" He asked

I took a deep breath, "Sunday morning."

"Okay... Should I sing it or what?"

"Sing it. I just want to hear your voice. That's all"

What the fuck did I just say? What the fuck what the actual fuck. I ended the call and turned the radio on immediately.

I heard him laugh, "Okay so caller no. 4 just requested a song. I bet I'm going to sing it now. Sunday Morning, this is for you caller no. 4"

Is the song really for me Hong Jisoo?

A moment of silence and he began strumming his guitar.

"Yeah

Sunday morning, rain is falling
Steal some covers, share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy
Living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
And back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Yeah

Oh yeah
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you, yeah
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

You may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness, she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
Driving slow
oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah
It's flower in your hair
I'm a flower in your hair

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah"

I can't believe what I just did? Did he recognize me?

○○○

I woke up, hearing his voice makes me miss him more. I recorded his song yesterday and played it again and again before going to sleep, luckily I didn't cry. This is all I need right now. One last cry, one last time hearing his voice before finally letting go. After what happened last night, I realized something. He doesn't care about me anymore, I knew that he recognized my voice but he didn't even do anything about it. Right, what do I expect from that moron. If he wants me back, he would have done something but he didn't. Several weeks have passed but I can still feel the pain, it's still fresh. But I need to help myself to move on, I need to accept that it is over or I'll just keep hurting myself again and again.

---

I dress up and went to our university, I accidentally bumped into someone, I looked down and muttered an apology.

"You don't look good." He said and I look up seeing the guy who caught me talking to myself and the guy who offered me a friendship.

"I know."

"I mean you're pretty but you don't look fine today."

"Are you hitting on me? Because I'm not in the mood."

"Woah easy there pretty face, I just want to make you feel better."

I didn't buy it and he can see it in my face so he added, "I'm Choi Seungcheol... I'm new here, yeah let's be friends?" I laugh, it's like he's rapping.

"It's fine as long as you're not a jerk, I'm Yoon Junghan. Nice meeting you Seungcheol."

"Wanna have luch with me later?"

"I'll think about it."

"Junghan, where can I find you? If you ever change your mind"

I gave him my number, "Satisfied?"

"Yeah" He said smiling so wide "See you later."

He already texted me, I smiled to myself.

Seungcheol: What can I do to make you have lunch with me?

Junghan: Make me forget all these shit

Seungcheol: what?

I didn't reply, this isn't right, get your shit together Yoon Junghan. Using someone to get over someone isn't right.

Seungcheol: Hey you still there?

Junghan: About what I sent earlier just don't mind it. Yes I'm still here. And yes I'll eat lunch with you so stop bugging me.

Seungcheol: How can I stop bugging you when you're the one who's bugging me first.

I laugh, what is he up to?

Junghan: How come?

Seungcheol: You keep entering my mind.

Junghan: real smooth Choi Seungcheol, how many girls have fallen for this?

Seungcheol: You wouldn't believe it but I only tried it once.

Junghan: Could've fooled me

Seungcheol: Fine I suck at this

Junghan: Could've fooled me twice

Seungcheol: Stop that, you're making me feel like you're the witty one

Junghan: Because I am, gotta go prof is here

Seungcheol: good luck see you later Junghan, fighting!

Is he flirting with me? What a new start Yoon Junghan. What a good start.