When I grow up | JiHan

Chapter 8 : Junghan

In another life, I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

°°°

3 weeks have passed and he's still unconscious, I'm now starting to regret the day I ran away from him, I should've let him explain, should've come back to him, why I did I let my pride win?

"Everything happened so fast, right Jisoo? 3 years ago we're just strangers who happened to cross each others' path, then we got a chance to know each other and it went deeper, no one saw it coming, I fell for you, and you fell for me and that was one of the amazing things that happened in my life, yours too, I guess. We planned our future together but you ended it, I knew you wouldn't just end it like that, you're not the kind of person who would hurt someone like that, who would hurt me. I didn't let you explain, I let my pride win and I'm so sorry for that. If I should've have listened to you, this would not happen."

I started to sob uncontrollably but I tried to calm down myself and wipe my tears away with my sleeves.

"Just wake up and I will leave you, just wake up and I won't bother you anymore. I don't deserve you. I'm so fucked up. Can you please wake up? Please wake up? When will you wake up Jisoo-"

I hear the door open, but I didn't bother to look who is it.

"Jeonghan" Mr. Hong said patting my shoulder, I flinch, I know he doesn't like me for his son but why the heck is he patting my shoulder, just for show?

"Hi sir" I said gazing at the floor, "I should go"

"Can I have a minute with you?"

"Sir?"

He gestures for me to sit and then he sits in front of me, "First of all I just wanted to say sorry for being a big barrier in your relationship but I think, not to be harsh, ending it was the best thing for the both of you."

I froze, I can't continue listening to this bullshit, I know he's against us but he doesn't need to say it right to my face. I tried my best to be calm. I snapped out of my thoughts when he started speaking again.

"And can you do me a favor?"

"W-what sir?"

"Stop seeing my son, he broke up with you right? The doctor said that there is a big possibility that he has or he will suffer from traumatic brain injury, you know what that is, right? Just like in the movies, the most painful and other memories will be erased from his brain, maybe the memories might come back maybe not. When he wakes up, I want to start a new life with him and be a good father, and I can't do that when you two are together. I hope you understand that he is the only family I have and I always want what's the best for my son, and I just don't think that that best is you-"

I bite my lips to prevent myself from crying, his words are like knives stabbing my heart again and again. He needs to stop or I might punch him in the face. How come that he is Jisoo's father?

"You don't have to say that sir, I know even if I try really hard, I'm not still enough, I don't deserve Jisoo. I'm just visiting him as a best friend nothing more nothing less, I just want to stay by his side in the times like this just like what friends do, I just wanted to return the favor, and don't worry you won't see this face anymore. "

I turn my back on him.

"Don't you know how to respect someone who is older than you? Don't you dare turn your back on me because I'm still talking!"

"Yah old man? Why would I respect someone like you? You don't respect me, I won't respect you too bastard! You know why people you love always leave you because of your fucked up attitude. Screw you." I spat and I run away from him.

Guilt is now eating me alive, even if he did something wrong, I should've still respected him and be polite but I just can't control my anger anymore, he's such a bastard. I don't deserve Jisoo. I don't deserve him. I'll be too selfish if I keep pushing myself to him and just like what the doctor said he might have forgotten me and the memories we had because of the traumatic brain injury. I bite my lips until it bleeds, but this time I can't fight back the tears, I've been holding them since the talk with Mr. Hong. I just realized something, I've been through enough, I've been strong and brave but right now I just can't do that anymore. Because it's clear, his father made it clear, the destiny made it clear, that we aren't meant to be. That there is a reason that we met each other but there's no reason for us to stay in each others' lives. We are not meant for each other, and that is what hurt the most, because if he weren't the one, why does my heart tell me that he is?