I'll Reach For You (GirlXGirl)

30. I Really, Really Want To

I park the car behind dad's, and I can hear my own heart beating in my ears. My hands are sweaty and shaky. This is a risk, she will either freak out or she will kiss me back. I hope she will, and not push me away. I put my head on the steering wheel, terrified to go out of the car. I breathe in and out, trying to calm all of my nerves down.

"Skylar?" I hear dad call my name and come over to the car. He stands and looks down at me.

"You okay?" He asks and I nod

"Yeah, why?"

"I saw you coming and you have been sitting in here for a few minutes." He sounds worried.

"No, I am fine, just tired." I say and give him a smile.

"Okay." He answers and pat the roof of my car. The look on his face told me he did not believe me. How could he, I feel like a nervous wreck. Like you feel before you go on a stage to perform. I take one last deep breath and step out of the car. Then I walk in the front door, finding mom in the couch watching TV.

"Hey mom." She turns to look at me.

"Hey darling. Did you have a nice time with Taylor?" I nod.

"Yeah, it was great." She helped me so goddamn much. I owe Ty a lot for what she did for me. My legs are shaking underneath me. I can barely stand anymore, so I lean down on the back of the couch.

"Where's Hunter?" I ask and I can hear my own voice shaking.

"She went up for a while ago, probably in her room reading." She answer, thank god she did not notice my voice.

"Okay, thanks." I stumble up the stairs and knock on Hunter's door. No one answered so I open up and find no one. Why I am I so goddamn stupid? I walk back and open my door. Hunter sits on my bed with a book in her lap. She looks up with a beautiful smile, making my heart yearn for her. Goddamn it's warm in here.

"You okay?" Hunter asks, placing the book on the bed and move over to me. I swear every step she took made my heart beat faster. I am so nervous that I wish I could jump out of my own skin.

"Skylar you are scaring me." She moves closer and put her hands on my waist. Her blue eyes staring at me, making me even more nervous. Then I look at her, really look at her and I can see all of the things that make me love her. Her beautiful brown hair with a hint of red, the blue eyes that look a little gray right now. I brush her hair behind her ear; they are so small and adorable.

"Sky-" I move my arms in between hers, and place my hands on her ass and lift her up. She wraps her legs around my waist and put her hands over my shoulders. Thank god, she is small and thin.

"Sky, what are you doing?" She chuckles. I move and sit down on the edge of the bed with her on my lap. Then I cup her face, lean my forehead on hers and close my eyes.

"I really, really want to." I plead, and place my hands at the back of her neck. Feeling her soft hair on my hands. She is breathing fast, but soft. I breathe her in and she smells as good as she always does.

"Then do it." She whisper. I open up my eyes to take one look at her. Hunter looks at me, just the way she can. I never expected her to say that, but I am so happy she did.

"I love you." I say and close my eyes again, lean into her and put my lips on hers. She is so soft and warm. This is what I have been waiting for and it was worth the wait. She put her hands on my stomach and clench to my shirt. Her heart is beating as fast as mine, I can feel it on my skin. My stomach is tingling and every worry on my mind is gone. It's like her lips make every bad thing go away. I break the kiss to breathe, and then I start to kiss her cheek, her throat, just everything. I move my hands on her back. She moans that sweet sound makes me want her more. I move my hands down at her back.

"Sky-" She moans again as my lips touched underneath her ear. Then I move my hand under her shirt at her back.

"Sky stop." I move my hand and feel a scratch on her back.

"SKYLAR!" She takes my hands and move out of my lap.

"IS EVRYTHING OKAY UP THERE?" I hear dad yell. I look at Hunter for an answer. She looks upset; I stand up and take her hands in mine. She nods like she already knew what I was going to ask.

"YEAH, IT'S FINE!" I yell down to dad.

"OKAY!" He answer. I look at Hunter, who is looking down at the floor, lost in her own mind.

"I'm sorry." I say, she doesn't look at me, not even moving. I felt a scar on her back, and I can't believe I haven't felt it before. I am not sure if it was the feeling of it under my hand or her reaction that scared me the most. I move closer and put my hands on her waist.

"Hunter-"
"No." She says and shake her head. Then she looks at me, her eyes lost somewhere I don't think I want to go.

"I don't want to talk about it." She whispers and I nod.

"It's okay. Let's just go to sleep and you can talk about it when you are ready, okay?" She nods and a tear comes down her cheek. I lean in and kiss it away.
"I'm sorry, Hunter. I didn't-"

"No, it's not your fault." She takes a deep breath.

"Can we just go to sleep?" I nod.

We lay down in bed, Hunter with her back to me. I move and lay my arm around her. Then I bury my face in her back and kiss her. When I finally got to taste her lips, she shut me out again, but it is my fault I went too far. I feel so guilty something I haven't felt in a while, and I feel the tears coming down my face and onto Hunter's shirt. I didn't mean to hurt her, I never do. But in some way I can be really good at it.

"Skylar?" I don't answer, I do not want her to know I am crying.

"Sky?" She turns around, finding me with tears on my face.

"No, Sky." She says and places her hand on my cheek and take the tears away. I can't seem to stop them from coming.

"I'm sorry." I say sobbing.

"Skylar. You can't be sorry, because there is nothing to apologize for." I clench to her shirt on her back and bury my face in her chest. She starts stroking me at the neck, moving her soft fingers up and down.

"But I am." I answer.

"Skylar, if you don't stop crying, I have to change my shirt." My sobbing turned into chuckles. I move and look at Hunter. She looks at me and it makes want to kiss her again. Sometimes I wish she didn't look at me like that, because it is hard to stay away from her. I know she knows I am weak of that look on her face. She is using it right now to make me stop crying.

"Goddammit, Hunter."

"What?" She chuckles.

"You know what it is."

"Does it work all the time?" She tease.

"Yes, it does. Sometimes it can be very annoying." I tell her.

"How?"

"Because that is my way of being vulnerable to you, I could almost do anything for you. When you look at me like that." She raises her eyebrow.

"Anything?" Oh no. I give myself a mental punch.

"Goddammit, Hunter." I make her giggle.

"Anything I want?" She wonders.

"No, Hunter I am not going to do anything now, I'm tired." I yawn and close my eyes.

"So no kiss for me then?" She whispers in my ear. I open up my eyes faster than lightening and kiss her before she could even react. She grabs my shirt with both of her hands as I place my hand on her cheek, moving her closer to me. This feels so good; I wish I could kiss her all the time. She moves back and breath. I lean back down to her chest and listen to her beating heart.

"I love you, Hunt." She answer with a kiss on the top of my head and that is good enough for me.