I'll Reach For You (GirlXGirl)

51. Can you blame me?

"Skylar it's been a week you have barely eaten anything." I hear dad say from across the table. Every time it has been dinner this week, I have just been playing with my food. I struggle to eat, and sleep has been painfully lonely. Even though Hunt calls me every day I miss her voice, it's not the same on the phone. Nothing is the same without her, I see her everywhere I walk, she is hunting my mind and my heart feels like a ghost. It's like it is not there, as if Hunt took it with her when she left. Hunt says she is fine, but she has this overrated tone in her voice that makes me know she is lying. She is living with a married couple who has three kids. An eighteen-year-old boy named Liam, a fifteen-year-old girl named Olivia, and a five- year-old boy named Logan. Hunt said the only one the likes is Logan and that did not surprise me. Her and those kids. I miss her so much.

"Can you blame me?" I ask upset. The anger has seemed to come out of its shell lately. Hunter was the only one that made me calm, her smell and her amazing smile, just took all of that anger away. Now I can't control it anymore, and the lack of sleep doesn't do anything better.

"I'm sorry, Skylar." He says and take a deep breath. I look at mom who stares down at her food with an apologetic smile.

"But you need to eat."

"I want Hunter more." I tell both of them and walk from the table. Leaving them in quiet.

I lay in bed, staring at the roof. Still waiting for Hunt to come in that door, and push me further in the bed to get some space. It's not going to happen, but I wish it did. I do not know what time it is in the night, but what I know is that I miss Hunter so goddamn much. The bed is cold and so lonely, that it feels like I am sleeping on the floor.

Before Hunt, left, she looked like she was falling apart; I told her that everything was going to be okay. She needed to know it is going to be fine and that I love her more than anything in this world. I miss that crooked smile and those blue eyes that change everything inside of me.

She told me before she went on the plane that she left me something in my room. When I came back, I found her blue and black sweater in my bed. It made me burst into tears, and I cried the whole night. How in the name of god, am I going to survive without her for so long, when I can't even take one week.

I have skipped like three days of school this week, and those days I have been there, I haven't concentrated. Poor Taylor had to keep her eyes on me so I wouldn't fall asleep. She has been so worried about me, but I tell her everything is fine, even though it is not. I do not want her to be worried. Ty should concentrate about her own life and Lauren.

The one of the worst parts about Hunter's gone is the silence, it is so goddamn quiet. She is not here to wake me up in the mornings, not here to poke me, not here to tell me she loves me or any other things that makes me love her so much.

I crawl out of bed and take on her blue sweater that has the same color as her eyes, then walk down the stairs, just looking around the living room. The silence is killing me, if Hunter was her right now we would have been sleeping or been sitting on the couch watching a movie, then fallen asleep. That is what she would have done, taken my hand and followed me down here. Just like the time I was sick, when she fell asleep on the table and the night when she brought the ice cream. I loved that morning when I woke up on her stomach, and then dad showed up.

I laugh of my own thoughts, but then tears come down my cheeks. Hunter really knows how to make me happy, and I miss that happiness. I would give anything in the world just to have her right here, right now. Just to look at that smile and hearing her voice teasing me.

I fall down into the couch looking at the front door, keeping my hopes up. What's the point, she is five hours away, there is no chance she will come in that door in the middle of the night. If she did, it would be a fucking miracle, I guess that is what I need now.

I close my eyes, but open them again. All I see is Hunt's face; she is always there even though she is not, maybe that is one of the things that hurts the most. Seeing her every time I shut my eyes, then I realize she is not really here. I would rather see her face when my eyes are open, I want to hold her and kiss her. I just want to do everything I can possibly do with her. She is everything, all I want and all I need.

I wish I wasn't this weak for her, that I could at least get myself on my feet without feeling like I am about to fall apart. But apparently I am so weak, that I just allowed myself to fall down in such a deep hole. I hate this more than anything in the whole world right now. My eyes are starting to ache, I close them, and I see Hunter, but I am too tired to keep my eyes open.