I'll Reach For You (GirlXGirl)

47. You are not breathing

It's been three weeks since I told my parents about Hunt and me. The feeling is so good, just like Taylor said. I do not need to be scared of them noticing me looking at her, or the way Hunt looks at me. She does it so clearly, it's hard to miss. I can hold her hand everywhere I go; I can kiss her when I want to.

Right now, I am sitting in the car waiting for Hunt, it's raining so bad that my shoes are soaked and I am cold. I am trying not to worry, but it's been almost ten minutes since I got into the car and I just want to go home. There is no sight of her, I pick up my phone and call her, but she does not answer.

"Dammit Hunter." I say as I get out of the car into the pouring rain. I walk into the school hearing my wet shoes squeaking under me, she is not in the hallway, and I checked the soccer field, nothing. I walk back up to the parking lot, soaking wet and looking around. Then I find her back an old, blue car with a woman. She has dark blond hair, and she looks as old as my mom. She may be a teacher, but I haven't seen her before. I do not really think so since it looks like she is crying, her eyes are red.

"Hunt?" She turns around fast with widening red eyes. I am not sure if she is angry or sad; her face is so mixed with emotions that it is confusing. She is more drenched than I am. Her hair, face and cloths soaking wet. Her hands are shaking, I am not sure is it is because she is cold or if she is so emotionally right now.

The look in her eyes, there is so much, anger, sadness, and a lot of hurt. I hate that look, even though I have never seen it before. I don't want her to watch me like that. It hurts so much.

"Is this a friend?" The women ask with a smile. Hunt turns around to look at her. I move and stand next to Hunt. She nods to the women, Hunt seems frozen, and she hasn't been like that for a while.

"What's your name?" She asks. Hunter seems speechless right now.

"Skylar." I answer easily and confused about everything.

"I'm Sara. Hunter's mom." I just felt my heart drop down in my stomach. I look at Hunter, she is biting her inner cheeks. How did she find Hunter here, and why did she.

"I am really sorry, Hunter." Sara says and Hunt grabs my hand in hers. She is cold and trembling.

"I have been looking for Andy and you, since you left, Hunter. I found Andy first, but..." she stops and dry her face.

"He died drunk driving, two years ago. I am really sorry Hunter." Hunter holds my hand harder, I know she must be crying, but she hides it very well. She always hides what she feels, and now I am afraid she will fall back into that road. She has come so far and seeing her mother might make her drown again. Hunt doesn't deserve to live in agony, she should be happy.

"I took me two years to find you after him. You look very good by the way. I am so sorry that I didn't do anything for Andy or you, but I am willing to try again..."
"No, I don't want anything from you!" Hunt says angrily and starts walking, dragging me after her to the car.

"Hunter, stop." I tell her, but she doesn't listen.

"Hunt..."
"NO!" She yells, scaring me. Hunt has never yelled to me in that way before.

"I don't want to talk." She sounds and looks so upset that it frightens me, because I know Hunt has a lot of rage inside, after all of the things that has happened to her. The thing I know is that she hides it well, but I do not know how she acts when all of it comes out. It is already scaring me.

"I want to go home." She says and move into the car, I jump in too and start driving.

"Hunter, I..."
"No!" She yells again and it hurts to listen to her. She should talk to me; her mother just showed up and told her that her brother is gone. There must be a lot going on in her mind, because my head is spinning right now. I can't imagine all of the emotions that showed up in her, the ones I see right now is painful and very frightening.

"Please say something." I beg and move my hand over to her, but she pushes it away.

"No!" She yells again, and I stop the car in the empty parking lot, dad must be shopping. She jumps out and hit the door close. I follow her into the living room.

"Hunter stop." I beg her, she does and turn around, her face with so much fury and tears.

"I do not want to talk, okay!" She yells and take the tears away.

"No, it's not okay, Hunter! I know you are angry, but you don't have to yell at me!" I cry, tears streaming down my face.

"I know you are hurt Hunter, but don't shut me out."

"I'm not..."
"YES YOU ARE!" I cry. I am so angry, because I do not understand why she just yells at me, why can't she tell me what is going on in her head. She is so hurt that I could have seen it miles away. I can't stand that look in her eyes. Now she is clenching her teeth.

"Sorry that I am not as perfect as you think I am." That hurt so goddamn much, I can't move or breathe anymore. The only thing I feel is the hole in my heart and the tears that go down my cheeks and down to my chin. I hate when she says hurtful things about herself, because it doesn't just affect her. I love her with my whole heart, and I do not want anyone to harm her, but I can't stop her from doing it to herself. That is the hardest thing I know about her, and I can't make her stop doing it. I wish I could, but there is nothing I can do.

"Sky?" I hear her voice, but it is softer this time. I am too numb to answer.

"Skylar?" Then I hear her footsteps coming closer, until she is standing in front of me.

"Sky?" She cups my face, and take the tears away. Her hands are so cold it made me almost jump, but I am too paralyzed.

"You are not breathing." I hear her, but I can't do it. Her words made everything hurt.

"Skylar, come on." She sounds calmer, but scared, and I am as fucked up as I can be.

"Skylar, I need you to breathe for me, please." Hunt pleads. She moves and kiss my neck, then I feel her biting me hard, making me gasp for air and I push her in the shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Sky. I didn't mean to, but you weren't listening to me." She put her hands on my waist I take them away, and I feel the bite mark on my neck with my fingers. It really hurt.

"I am listening to you; the problem is that you won't listen or talk to me." I look at her angry and hurt one last time, before I walk past her and up to my room.