I'll Reach For You (GirlXGirl)

61. She must be you're heaven

I wake up to the feeling of a hand and a kiss on my forehead. Then I open up my eyes, seeing the sun outside and it has stopped snowing. I look up to a still sleeping Hunter. Then I sit up in bed and turn finding mum in the chair.

"Hi." She whispers and I smile.

"When did you come?" I ask and rub my eyes.

"A couple of hours ago." She says and take my hand in hers. I look at her watch and it's three in the middle of the day. I have been sleeping a lot lately and it feels good to be fully awake, then to be so tired that my eyes hurts all the time.

"Dad told me you got better with food and sleep. I am glad that you are getting better." She smiles, but her eyes are full of sadness.

"We should not have let her go, after she left you became... something else and by the look of it, it affected Hunter as much. She looks as small as the day she came into our house." I turn to look at Hunt. I haven't even noticed that, I have been so busy just being here with her, but I see it now. Hunter looks skinnier. Her cheeks aren't so fully as they were. I should hit myself in the face for not noticing it, maybe I was too tired when I came that I just didn't see it, or maybe I just did not want to see it.

"Dad told me to remind you to eat." I turn to look at her and snort.

"I guess he did." I tell and smile as she reach out a sandwich, I am glad I get something that taste good. It makes it easier to eat. I grab it and take a big bite.

"Dad and I wondered if you wanted to go out and eat in the evening, at a nice restaurant or something like that." She does not look at me hopeful, I'm glad for that. I shake my head.

"I-I..."

"I understand that you want to be here." The smile on her face makes me believe her, and then she put her hand on my arm. I give her a flat smile in return, I feel awful for not coming with them, but I want to stay here. Maybe I am selfish, but I try to think that it is a nice thing for mum and dad being alone. It's not often they get to go out and eat together, so it would be nice for them to spend some time with each other.

"You and dad should just enjoy this Friday night. There is no need to check up on me if you two are having too much fun."

"Of course we are going to come in and check on you and Hunter, before we eat and after."

"You do not have to, there isn't much that is going to happen and I probably just sleep."
"We are going to do it anyway." She smiles.

"We love you," She looks at Hunter.

"Both of you."

After mom and dad left for dinner, Amber came in with her son and asked if I wanted to come and decorate some Christmas stuff. I nodded immediately, it makes the time pass and I am not far from Hunter's room.

"Grab that." Amber points at some lights lying on the floor next to my legs. I nod and give her the other end of it and I hold the other one.

"Maybe we can hang it on the roof?" She asks her son Jacob and me, he nods with a huge smile on this face.

"So... Skylar what are your Christmas plans?" Amber asks while hanging up the lights.

"Staying here." I answer as she moves the ladder to the other side.

"I thought so. You have barely been out the door since you came." She tells me grinning, and I hand her the last end of the lights for her to hang up.

"Well, dad told me we are going to wait until Hunt wakes up." She hangs it up, and then look down at me with a warm smile on her face.

"That is nice of them." Amber climbs down and I nod to her.

"But there is still a chance she will wake up before." I smile to her words. I would love for her to wake up soon. Every day is a disappointment when I can't see her eyes on me. It feels like the hollowness in my chest just keeps on getting wider and wider for every day that passes and every time I wake up.

"The chance for her waking up tomorrow is the same as today." I tell her shrugging. She gives me an apologetic smile.

"You aren't giving up are you?" She asks I look at her with wide eyes and shake my head.

"No, I just really miss her. Before I came here I did not see her for over a month. Then of course, she ends up in here. It's weird looking at her so lifeless," I snort.

"First time I saw her it looked like she was about to fall apart, then a month later she was full of life, and now it is gone again. When she left I fell into a hole, and it felt like I fell into another one when dad told me about the accident." It really hurts all of it, burns through my skin, bones and then through my heart.

It felt like I was going to throw up my whole stomach, all of my guts when dad told me what happened to her. It was a nightmare coming true, and now I wish I could just cut her open and bring her back home again. I rub my eye as I feel a tear on its way.

"She must be your heaven, since you are going through hell without her." She tells me and I chuckle. It reminds me of the day I told Hunter I love her, before I did that she told me she was looking for hell, but she stopped looking, because she realized she was already there. Hunter was so upset, and when she is, she takes it out on herself. It makes me so powerless, because there is nothing I can do about it.

"I know what my hell looks like and feels like, and it is not pretty." I tell her with my broken heart.