(UNDER HEAVY EDITING) lost cause ⋙ Carl Grimes

Chapter 9

Chapter 9- EDITED

Bloodletting : S2 E2

Part : 2

|Haley|

I looked at Carl's cold hand, which was between my warm ones. My right was making circular shapes on his knuckles and I played with his fingers.

His hands were cold, almost like a corpse, and I feared that any moment he would stop breathing and sink his teeth into my flesh.

It wasn't death I feared, it was the fact that I knew Carl had lost, and I had lost him, and the world had lost me. Maybe that would be better, every step I take not being a curse to the world.

'Don't cry.'

'Weakling. Your not gonna survive this world.'

That thought made me think. Do I even want to? No. But will I? Yes.

I looked at Carl's pale face. "Please open your eyes, Carl. Mom-mommy's coming. Okay? She's gonna come and everything will be fine." I said trying to convince myself more than Carl. I kissed his forehead and his forehead got wet from my tears. I stayed there for a moment and I broke down.

I had lost everything. Carl wasn't going to make it, Sophia would be found as a walker, god knows where and I would never be able to bring back my mother, father or Oscar.

I would never be able to bring back my pre-apocalypse best friend, Nick. He was a nerdy type, and a complete loser in our school, but that didn't mean I didn't have any friends. It was actually kind of the opposite.

My friends were so possessive around me, following me like a lost puppy. But Nick hardly ever got to do that. With Nick, I could be myself.

I got up and went to the porch.

'I wanted to have a happy future.'

'Being married, having a good career, kids and a pet.'

'I never wanted this to happen.'

I felt so weak as I cried on the edge of the bed. I didn't want to be weak. I didn't like this feeling. I wanted Carl to wake up, Sophia to be found and this shit to end. I wanted Nick back and I wanted to be strong.

But that wouldn't happen.

Carl wasn't gonna wake up, Sophia wasn't gonna be found, this shit wouldn't end, I would find Nick's corpse and I would always be weak.

I hiccuped and took deep breaths. I felt as if crying was the only thing I had done today.

-

"Lori!" I called running to my friends mother. I didn't say best friend because, Sophia still has that title. Sophia was probably the closest thing I had in this goddamned apocalypse, and there was still a ray of hope in there that everything would be fine.

I ran into Lori's arms and we entered Carl's room like that.

She left me at the door as she rushed next to Rick.

I left the room to give them some family time. I went outside and saw the girl with short brown hair. I walked over to her, as she was treating the horses.

"Such loyal creatures." I said as I came in the stalls. She jumped up and put a hand on her heart.

"You scared me." She said in her accent.

I chuckled. "Sorry. Can I pet it?" She nodded.

"You know how to ride one?"

"My mom was a rider. She had 2 horses. Loved them more then me." I laughed shortly. "Bagel and Dean."  I frowned at the memories of me riding them.

"Where's your mom, now?"

"Dead."

"Oh. I'm sorry I asked." She said looking down. "If it makes you feel better, my mom died too."

"It didn't." I laughed. "Just because mine is dead doesn't mean that others have to be too. Sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. Do you want to ride one?"

My eyes lit up. "Really?"

She smiled. "Really."

[holy shiz that was short af]
[sorry]