Love or Payne? [Niam A/U]

Last Authors note-

So i wrote this when i was in the 7th grade, and i was going through so much i began to write this story. i never dreamed that it would be as big as it did, and go to effect so many. This story is partially based on my life, for i am a Gay male who struggle with self harm, love, depression, and acceptance. I wanted to say thank you for reading this book , for it may be a fan fiction but it means the world to me because i poured my heart into this. I am in the 11th grade now, i am 16 and my grammar has improved so bare with the typos, i was 11 when i wrote this. My instagram is @m.xwell if your curious, and my real name is Maxwell Vice. I found out i love to act, and i am now a musical theatre major in new york city performing art high school, and i actually met one direction and gave them the fan book so thank you for that. If you ever feel lost , sad, or depressed just know that i care, i think ive said this in past authors notes, but i do. Just because ive never met you, doesnt mean i dont want you to fight through your struggles and win.

You're strong, you're important, and you matter....do not ever forget that. Love you

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Update 7/20/16

I am now 17, and all of my dreams have come true. I wrote this book when i was going through my worst depression, and didn't think success and happiness was achievable , but i stood around to see it happen. I just finished doing my first off broadway show, and performed infant of 2,700 people. Walking on to that stage, after getting an encore, and seeing people cheering for me, made the scars and the sadness that haunt me melt in with the pass. I told myself that i don't belong to my depression no more, because this is where i belong. I've met all of my idols, worked with my dream team, and now I'm a working actor in the city. Im not sure where life will take me next, but i wanted to let you know that if you reading this, even though its a poorly written one direction fan fiction, this is what i used to cope, and it helped, and now I'm living my dreams. Use this as an example to stick around, because you never know where like takes you next.

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Update 8/29/17

I wrote this book during a time when i was first started to understand i was gay, and when i began to show signs of depression. When i wrote this book, i was about 13, and i had already tried to commit suicide. What i realized was that i grew up in a era where mental health was trendy, and people with depression was romanticized. Looking back at the book, and to anyone who is reading  it, i just want you to understand that it genuinely gets better. I'm not saying this to make anyone feel better, but as a literal fact. When i wrote this i had dreams of being a performer, being on stage, being noticed...and if i would have killed myself at 13 i don't think i never would have saw that. I never would have started my own magazine, which now has more than 50,000 readers per issue, I never would have became an actual working actor, and i would never have realized that there is so much potential...in all of us. I don't delete any of these books, even though the grammar is poor, and the plot is ridiculously dramatic, but i keep these to inspire hope. I grew up young and alone online, my only friends were user names. I was always told that my art was weird, that the things i write were crazy, and that i need to be serious. Seriously, if you want to be something, just fucking be it. I never thought writing this book, that i would one day wind up working with Liam Payne on one of his music videos. I wrote this book because as a community, i felt safe, but now that im grown and I've developed myself a bit more...i came back just to inspire. One day will i be as famous or even more then Liam, or any of the boys? Who knows...but who cares? The only thing that helped me understand, and defeat my depression is loving myself. Purely, and unapologetically. Its going to be hard, sometimes you're going to feel like there no where to go, but there is. You just need to stick around and see it. I doubt anyone reads this book anymore, or if anyone else is going to see this edit, but if ANY of you need any help, reach out to me

my email is maxwellviceinfo@yahoo.com  

instagram- m.xwell

website: icevicemagazine.com 

If one day i get famous, and people find my weird, awkward gay fan fictions about one direction, i hope they understand that these stories were one of the few things that kept me alive.