Welcome to my mind

Uuuugggghhhh

I'm so tired!!! But, I can't sleep, so! Well, I don't want to sleep. Sleeping means nightmares, and nightmares aren't fun! God, I so don't feel like going to school tomorrow, reminding me of how much I'm falling behind and how stupid I am!! It's all just so  stressful! I have to get my grades up, as I'm failing tons of classes, and I have to memorize this script by a couple weeks or we'll basically be kicked out, and I just don't want to be around people at all!! Ugh, it's all too much sometimes! But, what can you do? That's life. All I can do is stop complaining about my life, and force myself to carry on, drag myself through this stupid life until I finally give up I guess. Well, truth be told, I gave up a long time ago, I'm just doing this to torture myself. Death is an easy way out, and I deserve all the pain and suffering. So I'm forcing myself to live, because that's what I don't want, and I don't deserve to get what I want. I deserve all of the pain and suffering, so that means I live! But still, I really don't wanna go to school, but I have to!! I need to catch up on all my work!! People and teacher comment on how I'm always absent and they say if I don't start coming, I'm going to fail. I really don't want to get kicked out of class and taken out of my honors classes, that wouldn't look good on a college resume, would it?