ALONE

Chapter 38

Wake and bake with Ty.

He lets me roll up a dime in some weed paper. I crumble it up and spread it along the paper. Then roll it, licking it when it cracks up. It looks fine. My final product a blunt.

Ty turns up the music on the beats pill. He comes on the bed and lights my blunt as I put it in my mouth.

"Good job babe" he says to me but I ignore him.

I cough a little but after a few more puffs I get used to it. It comes out my nose feeling like clouds coming out my passage way.  I hand the blunt to Ty and he blows it out. I lay back in the bed fucking high. I start to laugh out of no where.

Ty looks at me odd but then passes back the blunt. It got more smaller when I had it. After coughing, loud music and the smell of shit in the air I feel nothing. I didn't forget about Savannah or my father. I close my eyes to think of rainbows and unicorns but instead I think of death and loneliness.
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I gotta plan Savannahs funeral.

Why?

There's no family to come.

Just a waste of money. Imma just burry her in one of those big dead people places with their name tags on the stones.

I don't even tell Ty about where I went or why I was at the library. I'm disappointed in my father he has a new name, new wife, new family. While I'm left with nothing. Nobody just myself.
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Ty makes some calls to get Savannah in the place where I want her.

I write her inscription on a piece of paper:

10-11-2002. -  6-3-2015.
Loving daughter, sister and best friend.
You will be loved and remembered in my heart.
Savannah Nicole Johnnson .

I pass the paper to Ty, he nods and tells the person what I want on her stone.
I go to the couch and lay on my back with my eyes closed. I get the picture of Savannah and my mother in paradise, waiting for me to come next. Ty looks at me, he feels that happy place inside me.