if i love you

ten

Haze looks at me and the at where John was raping me. I was still pushing at John so he would get off me, but he only holds me to him and pushing into me deeper. I yell out in pain of the first time.

I've always wanted to be with my mate for the first time but John just fucked that right up!

I could feel how mad Haze is. I can't help him, he isn't my mate anymore. I have to be with my mate. John mated with me and I am his now.

Haze moved over to us and pulled John off me. My wolf growls at him, but all I want is for him to make everything okay again. I want to be his mate, his queen.

"Rose please tell me you fought to stop this? Please tell me you want to go home with me?" He cried out at me. I so want to tell him all of that and more, but I am not his, but I am.

This has messed up my life even more. I never wanted to be messed up in this world, I just wanted to hunt and stay with my family. If I would have never been in the woods I would be with my family, but I wouldn't have my mate, my mate that may hate me now.

"Haze I need you to help me with this. Am I still your mate?" I asked.

"You are my rightful mate, and you will always be my mate. I can make you mine again but it will hurt you. I don't know of I can." He said as he cried.

"Haze I want you. Please do what ever it is to make me yours again. I need to know I'm yours! I was raped and you don't know if you can?" I yell.

I don't know what is wrong with me but I am very upset with everyone in the room. Its only three people and two that are not me.

"Rose this is not the time to yell at me! I felt everything they were doing to you! They had my mate and I couldn't help you. I felt the bond break. And you mated with him!" He yelled.

"I was fucking raped! I didn't mate with him! Well not willingly. Haze please do what ever it is to make me yours, please." Right as I say that John gets up and puts his hand on me. My wolf moans out. I try to stop her but she takes over. Summer was in the drivers seat.

"My my my. The man that made my night and my ex-mate in the same room." She said smiling.

"Rose, are you okay." John asked.

"Rose is fine. But I'm not Rose, I'm Summer. I'm Rose's wolf. Oh and I want my real mate but you have made a very good point."

I try to take control but she is really strong. I see Haze's eyes change.

"I want my mate back. I need her. I know you need me to. This pup will not make you happy like I can. You all are my queen. I love you.... Rose, and maybe you and I can do this to. You are my mate and I need you both." Haze said.

After that she was soft and I took control.

"Can we go home Haze, please? I don't want to be here anymore. This is not how I wanted this to happen. I wanted you. I wanted my mate." I cried.

Haze picks me up and John just watches us. He doesn't move to stop us. Haze kissed my head and smiled at me.

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When we got back to his house, he took me to his room and we lay down. He holds me till I fall asleep.

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I woke up to Haze kissing up and down my neck. It feels like it did before John took me from Haze.

I smile and moan. It feels amazing. I don't want it to stop and I know he doesn't ether.

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Lilly's POV

I will never be a good hunter. I will never be a good mate. My mate will hate me. John is just using me to get Rose back. I am nothing to these people. Rose said she would be there to help me, she's not! My brother told me I was a freak. I know it's true. No one wants a hunter that can't hunt. I will move away. I will run away. Rose will have to come back and then she will leave her mate and stay with John. Then everyone would be happy. I wouldn't be there to stop them.

I was always picked on at school. They said I would be just like Rose. They call her a hoe. They say she is having sex with every man in town. They say that is why she dropped out of school because a girl saw her with her dad and the next day with her boyfriend. I never told Rose that they say this. I just let it happen because I couldn't tell them the truth. They hate our family. Well the girls that is.

I was going to drop out anyways. I can't take that bullying. I thought if I hunted my dad would be okay with it. But I am not ready to do it alone. I thought they would say the same bout me but I don't care.

I just wanted out. I thought about offing myself a few times. Hanging or cutting. Just a way to stop the pain. The pain of being called stupid and a hoe like my sister and mother.

I am going to do it today. My brother is at school, Rose is with her mate, and John is trying to get to Rose. I wrote a note to Rose and my brother. I hope they see it.

Rose, Doug.

I know Im a bad sister. I know you don't want me. This is the last time you'll see my handwriting. I love you both. I thought I should tell you. Rose they say your a hoe. They say you mess up lives and families. You stop happiness. So this is it.

Love lillybug.