Tragic Magic

Chapter Thirty Six

At that point I didn't know what to do or think. Everything seemed to be spinning around and I couldn't get a grasp on myself. Between the cheering of the crowd and the intensity of everyone around me, I just lost it.

I could feel my body collide with the ground and that was it. All I could think about was the love of my life marrying somebody else. This is impossible though, I mean, they had to have been together for a long time. Maybe he was cheating on me the entire time.. Or worse, maybe he was cheating on me with her.

I can't help but think about TJ through all of this. He's falling apart at the seams and there's nothing he can do. I have to get him out of there. I pull myself together long enough to get up off of the floor and analyze the situation. While the audience is distracted on Craig's big proposal, I run out to TJ.

"TJ, get up," I kneel by his side and pull the guitar off of him.

"I can't," he looks up at me in tears. I can't keep myself together seeing him like this. I lift him up and drag him offstage before we both end up in a puddle of depression on the ground.

I keep my arms around him and push through crowds of fans, trying to get back to the bus before we both fall apart.

What are we going to do now? It's officially over, Craig is getting married. Life can turn you upside down completely in a blink of an eye. I guess it was over a long time ago, but something in me believed that this was all just a dream and we'd both be together again.

It feels like just yesterday he was pulling me off the ground, saving me from the intoxicated Ronnie. At the time, I could have sworn he saved my life. I remember all of the dates clearly. We laughed and cried together, no matter what the situation. It wasn't much to most people, but it was everything to me because I was with Craig and nobody else. I can still feel him clinging onto me as the plane for London takes off. The worst part is he's not here and he will never be here again.

It's hard to believe two years ago I hated Craig with a passion. I fell hard for him, so hard that it's going to be impossible to live without him. My Craig is no longer my Craig and I can't stand the thought. He's engaged to Ashley, and that's the end.

I find myself lying on the floor of the tour bus with TJ in a puddle of tears. I just couldn't take it anymore, I lost it all in a matter of seconds.

"What are we going to do now?" TJ pulls himself together and sits up.

"I don't know, TJ," I pull myself together. "I really don't know," with these words, I broke down again. Knowing the person you love is in love with someone else, how am I going to live like this?

"Are you going to be okay?" He just looks at me as if I was dying on the floor.

"I used to hate him," I shake my head, "I wish I still hated him."

"What happened?" TJ moves closer to me.

"I fell in love. I fell in love with him while Ronnie was in prison, but I never admitted it to myself. When things turned bad with Ronnie, I called him praying that he would save me." I can feel myself slowly calming down as I spill my heart onto the floor.

"Which he did," TJ says.

"Exactly," I sit up, "I was so happy with him, it was the best time of my entire life. Then Escape The Fate went on a tour in the United Kingdom and I went with them."

"Right," TJ perks up, "I was called in right after Max was sent back to America. I never saw you there though."

"That's because I was already gone by the time you arrived. Something strange happened and I ended up back with Ronnie, as friends of course. I hung out with them and another band for the past year, trying to find Craig again."

"My Chemical Romance, you told me that part," he says.

"They were all so nice to me and they didn't even know me," I start to feel the heartbreak again. "All Gerard wanted to do was bring me back to Craig. That was before we knew he found someone else."

"I'm as devastated as you are. Craig's my best friends and Ashley.." He stops himself. "I was so in love with her at the time. It must have been going on for awhile and I just didn't know. You didn't know either."

He's right, it must have been going on for a long time, otherwise he wouldn't just propose out of the blue. They must have been together since before the UK tour, maybe Craig arranged my disappearance?

"What are we going to do, TJ?" I can feel my face turning pale.

"We could get married," TJ gives me a look.

"I'm sorry?" I glance over at him.

"I mean, why not? Nobody would see it coming and we deserve to be happy, right?" Oh my god, I think he's serious about this.

"Well," I start to give in, "when you put it like that, I guess so, but TJ we don't even know each other."

"You do make me happy, though. I know we just met, but we know so much about each other and hey, we still have time to learn even more. Just trust me on this one," he convinces me.

This is crazy. Three years ago I thought I'd be marrying Ronnie, only a few months ago I thought I'd be marrying Craig, and now I might possibly end up with TJ. Is this really what I want?

"Well, I'm not going to end up with Craig, and you're not going to end up with Ashley," I try to convince myself.

"You're so much better than Ashley, Juliet. You could have left me there, breaking down on stage, but you didn't. You picked me up and saved me when your heart was broken," he says.

The more we talk about, the more I desire to be with him. I can't have Craig ever again and I need to move on anyways, so why not? I feel okay knowing that TJ's here for me, so why not keep it this way forever?

"Alright," I convince myself, "we might be able to do this."

"This is crazy," TJ forces a laugh, "I know we will be happy in the end though."

"I hope so," I still feel weird about just letting Craig go, but I want to be happy and TJ is my key to happiness.

"We will," he takes my hands and looks at me, "trust me on this, okay?"

"Alright," I completely convince myself, "I trust you."

"So, lets do it then," TJ grins and melts my heart in an instant.

"Let's do it," I can't help but smile, we are going to be happy no matter what it takes.