Tragic Magic

Chapter Forty Nine

So I went with him. 

He kept his arms around me until he took me to his car, even then he kept a hand on me while driving. Something about him seemed different, but I loved it. 

That's the sick part, I loved it. 

We both stayed silent for the duration of the ride to his house, I wasn't even sure where we were going, but I trusted him.

His house was a simple suburban home and it was beautiful. We pulled into the gated yard and drove straight into the garage. I felt strange being here, but I didn't question it. 

"Come on," he finally says something, pulling me out of the car. 

"What did you want to show me so badly?" I ask, following him into the house. 

"Just follow me, don't leave my side."

He dragged me through the house that seemed to go on and on before taking me into a room, similar to a recording studio. 

"I need your opinion," he says, pulling a chair up for me.

"On a song? Oh no, I don't have music taste-" 

"Just listen," he interrupts me while messing with a switchboard. 

Ronnie takes a seat next to me as the song begins to play. 

Run, my dear, as fast as you can
You killed me here, the blood's on your hands
Oh, I don't really think that you will ever understand
The person that I was, the person that I am, I'm different now
You're distant how, will we ever work this out?

You're always getting me high then you're pulling me low
Then you beg me to stay, but you want me to go
You're always telling me "yes" but your answer is "no"
If you want me to guess, I'm just a stranger you know
If you call this winning why do I feel like a loser?
(Yeah yeah) I'm just a loser
(Yeah yeah) Guess I am a loser
If you call this winning, why do I feel like a loser?

Run, my love, I'm back from the dead
Let it go, it's all in your head
Oh, I could not believe that you will never let it be and
Nobody knows all the trouble you've seen
I get it sweetheart we're always "low low low"
You're always pushing me away, but then you're pulling me close so
Let's make a toast to all the years we've wasted
Hold your glasses high for all the tears we've tasted
I'm different now, you're distant how, will we ever work this out?

You're always getting me high then you're pulling me low
Then you beg me to stay, but you want me to go
You're always telling me "yes" but your answer is "no"
If you want me to guess, I'm just a stranger you know
If you call this winning why do I feel like a loser?
(Yeah yeah) I'm just a loser
(Yeah yeah) Guess I am a loser
If you call this winning, why do I feel like a loser?

(Yeah yeah) Look what you've become
(Yeah yeah) All the damage done
(Yeah yeah) I guess I've won
(Yeah yeah) Look what you've become
(Yeah yeah) All the damage done
(Yeah Yeah) You're a fucking loser

(Yeah yeah) Look what you've become
(Yeah yeah) All the damage done

You're always getting me high then you're pulling me low
Then you beg me to stay, but you want me to go
You're always telling me "yes" but your answer is "no"
If you want me to guess, I'm just a stranger you know
If you call this winning why do I feel like a loser?
(Yeah yeah) I'm just a loser
(Yeah yeah) Guess I am loser
If you call this winning, why do I feel like a loser?
Oh, if you call this winning, why do I feel like a loser

We sat there for a few minutes before saying anything. I never heard such passion in his voice, this song was everything to me. 

"Was this..?" I start speaking.

"Yeah, Juliet." He answers.

"I didn't know you felt that way," I glance over at him.

"Now run, my love, like you always do," he sits back in his chair.

I couldn't leave his side, not this time. Memories flashed through my head as I listened to the song. We were so happy.

"I can't."

"This song is going on the new album. You were all I could think about after the wedding," he admits.

"I'm getting married, Ronnie," I try to pull away from the conversation, but can't move. 

"Why? I mean seriously, Juliet. Why are you getting married?"

"I don't know."

"Why would you do that to me? To Craig? To everyone who wants you more than he does," Ronnie begins to pace around the small room. 

"I don't know," I get up and stand in front of his, stopping his movement.

"Why don't you know? Why don't you ever-"

"Because I love you!" I accidentally blurt out.

We both stood there staring at each other for a solid minute, I couldn't believe I said that. I couldn't believe that I felt that, but I did. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but I couldn't control it.

"Can I hug you?" I ask him, in a shaky voice.

Ronnie silently pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around me. I felt numb, it felt the same way it did five years ago. What's going to happen when I get married? Will Ronnie go away just like Craig did? I've never wanted a person this badly, but oh god did I want Ronnie.

"I love you too, Julie." he finally speaks. 

The tears began to fall, I felt stupid. Why did I ever leave? Why did I say yes to Craig, to TJ, to everyone who isn't Ronnie? This moment was all I wanted, and that song was the only thing I wanted to hear for the rest of my life. 

"I made a mistake," I whisper.

"No you didn't," he runs his fingers through my hair.

"I need you," I try to explain. 

"It's better off this way," he contradicts me.

"No it's not," I fight, "It will never be because I don't want to spend my life without you. I don't want you to go away again."

"You're always telling me yes, but you're answer is no," he sings to me.

"It's not anymore. I can't do this without you," I admit. 

I felt so happy, yet sad at the same time in his arms. I knew it wasn't going to last, this was the end, and I didn't want it to be. I was the loser because I lost him and I knew I could never have him again.

The wedding was coming in a couple of weeks, and that is going to be the end of us forever. I couldn't bear the thought. 

"It'll be okay, Juliet," he reminds me.

"No it won't," I fight, "It will never be okay because you're not here."

"I will always be there, my love."