Parade of a Thousand Birds

Chapter Twenty-Three: I Cant

Robin could not handle these lies anymore, they were eating at him. Even in his dreams he could not escape the pain that he only had himself to blame. Once again his friends would be dead at his feet. Once again he would be covered in the blood of the ones he loved.. and once again his stomach would churn to see his reflection smiling back at him with looks of complete bloodlust. He was covered in it, the red liquid kept him warm in the brisk evening. He stared at the pile in front of him upset. Not because it was his friends, but because they died far too soon before he could have any real fun. Villains, friends...nothing seemed to quench his thirst for blood nothing seemed to satisfy this itch in his very being., and now they were all gone. Robin flipped open one of the pouches in his bag, finding a match. He lit it and tossed it onto the bodies, which soon erupted into bright flames. He stared at the dancing flames with little emotion, eyes more focusing on two certain objects. A Orange and black mask, and a mask of a certain bat. The fire soon began to melt them, unrealistic Robin knew the heat should not be able to melt the material, but there he was watching as his past and present literally went into flames. The distant screams of everyone he knew sounded off in the distance , but Robin did not care, he was still infatuated with the masks. He reached out to grab the Dark knight's mask, he should have known he would not be able to. The flames lashed out and burned him as if saying he could never go back..Robin already knew this.

He turned then, a smile appearing on his face as he saw a large circus tent being lit up by the flames, which gave off such a warm light. He turned his back to his friends, wanting nothing more than to return to the days where no one could bother him...back to his circus where no one questioned him and left him to his thoughts. To ignore all the blood that his footprints tracked in.

The carnival music was loud, enveloping Robin as he continued to walk to the center of the tent, no one was there yet the music still played, gettin louder and louder. The next thing he knew, he was on the platform of the trapeze, the bleachers filled with shadowed figures roaring in applause and chanting the name Robin. Dick grinned, knowing that they wanted a real show, the twisted smiles just like his own surrounded him as he he gave a final bow before grabbing the trapeze rope. His hands would surely slip, the red liquid made firmly grasping anything impossible, but once again he knew that. "AND NOW! THE LAST SURVIVING GRAYSON WILL FOLLOW IN HIS PARENTS FOOTSTEPS!" He announced to the screaming crowd, a smile never leaving his face as he stepped off the platform, ready to complete his last act. He did the quadruple flip, not even bothering to try and catch himself on the next rope. Instead, he let himself fall. This is what it must have felt like, his parents accepted it, and now so would he as he was about to collide into the floor--

Robin woke up to see that he was in his room, not in the woods where everything seemed to go into a blur. He scrunched his nose slightly, trying to piece together what happened before he blacked out. There was a mission...he saw slade and..Robin sat up quickly, regretting the decision as his vision spun along with the room. he groaned and held his hands to his head, trying to calm down the spinning. Note to self, never try to sit up too quickly after a panic attack. He looked around his room again once he steadied himself, trying to figure out how exactly he got there. The last time he checked he did not have the power to teleport..meaning someone had to carry him..but who?

The door opened to reveal a very grim looking bruce. He must have expected him to still be sleeping, because when he saw Dick sitting up and staring at him, his face changed into one of relief. "Hey Chum, Glad to see that you are awake."

"I feel like my head was hit by a truck." Robin shrugged and smiles, trying to lighten the mood. He knew for a fact that the mission was going to be brought up, but honestly, Dick did not want to talk about it.

"Richard.."

"Don't 'Richard' me , Bruce...I know you are going all father mode on me, but I don't want to hear it!" Dick snaps at bruce, he knew he was in the wrong for shouting at his mentor, but all the pent up emotions..the last time he held them in resulted in this situation in the first place. "I am just going to disappoint you, don't you get it!?" His hands clenched into fists, staring at his sheets. There was no way he could possibly look at the one who took him in , he could not look into his mentor's eyes...it would hurt far too much. "I am no hero Bruce, I can't act like everything's normal, I can't go back to the team that trusts me so willingly when I will end up hurting them anyway." Tears threatened to spill over, and you know what, Dick was tired of forcing them back, he let them fall. He was weak, he knew that, but at least he could finally stop holding the entire world on his shoulders and still act like he is the happiest teen alive. "I Can't be a hero...I can't be trusted..And I certainly can not fill your shoes!" Dick choked on a sob.

"Dick, Look at me." Bruce said in a commanding tone that made the boy flinch but shake his head, his eyes still focused on the blanket in front of him. "I said look at me!" The boy hesitantly looked up. "I do not know what has come over you these past few weeks, but you can tell me anything. Do I make myself clear?" Bruce tried to keep the anger out of his voice, he really did, but his tone failed to keep out it's usual gruffness. "If not me, than your teammates! You are not alone, unlike then you have people who will support you and look after you. You do not have to be so damn stubborn all the time!"

Dick frowned a bit, his chest aching at his mentor's words..more than anything he wished that could be the case. "I trust you ..do not get me wrong." He mumbled more to himself rather than bruce.

"What are you trying to say?" Bruce frowned a bit.

"I am saying that I can't trust myself!" Dick snapped at once again, his mentor flinching slightly. "I wish I could, I wish I could be like everyone else..to be ignorant of killing so many people, to be ignorant in believing if you have a strong sense of justice, everything will be okay..I can't! I have no right to be so welcomed by you or anyone for that matter!"By the time Dick was done with his rant, the room became completely silent, the tension thick enough to be cut with a knife.Bruce sat beside Robin for a few long minutes, seeming deep in thought before he finally reached over and hugged the small teen. Robin thrashed and screamed, giving off threats of how he was dangerous and how he could not be trusted, but Bruce continued the embrace until the Boy simply gave up and leaned into the hug.

"Shadows follow everyone Dick, everyone has regrets and everyone has fears...You are not alone." With that Bruce stood up, holding his hand out. "Now come along, I hear Alfred cooked up something good for dinner."

The boy gaped a bit, his once grim expression seeming to melt into one of confusion "Dinner?" He croaked out, voice scratchy and thoughts jumbled. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Only for a day... Do not worry, you have the rest of the week off so you can relax. Now let's go before the food gets cold and we are both yelled at by Alfred."

The teen smiled slightly at that "Alfred Pennyworth, the only force alive that can make the mighty Dark Knight tremble in his boots." He snickered.

Bruce let out a small chuckle before leaving the bedroom with his ward.

-------

A/N

FINALLLYYYYYY. I had all these little birdies chirping at me to update. -thrusts story upon readers- HERE YOU GO YOU VULTURES! 

HAHA just kidding, I love you guys. Anyways, thank you for reading! I cannot believe I am almost at 3k views..It is amazing and it is all thanks to you birdies!~

On another note,

I am planning to post a new book out soon  (not related to this book btw) Hopefully, it will be just as successful as this story and I hope you all will enjoy it. It is still on severe plot editing so the first chapter won't come out until probably next week, still I thought you would like to hear of the news! 

Once again thank you my little birdies,

~Ringleader_Robin