Irreplaceable

Chapter One

Carter's POV

I woke up to the sound of someone snoring. Remembering that I spent the night with my boyfriend, Colin, I turned over to look at his face. He was so beautiful. After three glorious years, I'm still happy.

We always told each other how much we loved each other, but we didn't really love each other. It was a basic high school relationship. I knew that we would eventually just break up. Sometimes I wondered if I would even feel sad if we did.

Colin was really sweet and all, but I didn't feel that spark that I always read about in romance books. I wanted that, but I had not found it, yet. I was surprised that Colin and I hadn't drifted apart by now. He treated me right, but I knew I didn't complete him. Every so often, when we went out, he would steal glances at other girls. I always noticed, but I shook it off because once again, we didn't love each other.

I always wondered why he asked me out. Maybe we liked each other enough to stick it through. If we were still together by the time college came around, I was going to break up with him.

I unwrapped his arms from around my waist. I started to pick up my clothes to get dressed. As I was putting on my shirt, I saw Colin start to feel around his bed. He must've noticed my absence. I walked back to his bed and kissed his lips lightly.

"Carter?" he said groggily.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Babe, where are you going?"

"Home," I answered, "my parents are coming home tonight."

My parents had recently gone to Massachusetts because my aunt was sick. She was diagnosed with cancer. My dad loved his sister so much that this news devastated him. My mom tagged along for support. I wanted to go, but it is the beginning of the school year and my parents wanted me to stay up to date with all my work. Although, I did think this was an excuse so they could save money.

They had been gone for a week and were coming back today. Colin and I had been hanging out every day. I spent the night at his house and he came over to my house.

"Spend the day with me." He was wide awake now.

"Okay, but I need to get new clothes."

"You look better in my clothes, though"

"I can't go out in a shirt that is way too big for me." I said while laughing. Colin was so goofy. It was another reason why I liked him.

"If we stay in, will you put my shirt on?"

"Maybe," I said with a smirk, "but, what are we going to do?"

"Netflix and chill?" his eyes looked intent as he said it. Netflix and chill was good enough. It was all I needed to hear before I climbed back into his bed.

He opened his arms for me to lay in them. He wasted no time pulling off my shirt and kissing me.

If you are wondering, I am not a virgin. As you may have guessed, Colin took it a long time ago. I had his and he had mine.

A part of me wished I could've stayed pure till I found the one for me. When I was younger, I was curious and so was Colin. One night, it just happened. I had no regrets either.

My whole life I have had no regrets. I always said what I meant and I meant what I said. If I didn't mean it, I didn't say it. Life is so much easier when you have no guilt to carry around. This also helped me because I didn't do stuff if I knew I would regret it.

Once, my best friend wanted me to try some drugs with her. I knew those things were bad and I did not mess around with them. I told her no because I knew I would regret it. She understood this. She did some drugs by herself, got caught by her parents, and wished she had listened to me. Of course, she still lives with that guilt, but she did learn not to do them again.