Pseudonymous [Completed]

Nineteen

Chris

Several months later...

We still haven't been able to see kennedi and i'm just fucked up, like really fucked up because i haven't saw her since then. I miss her and so does the boys, every night they cry for her. The longer they keep me away from her, the more i get nervous that she won't make it. I need her alive, i really do. Me torturing her was stupid and unfair, I'm the reason she cheated anyway because i been so bad to her. Today they're finally letting me see her and i hope to see her happy to see me.

"So you did all that to the poor girl because the one time she cheats you get pissed off and now she's in the hospital? That's fucked up and if you're feeling like shit right now you should be. No girl in this world deserve what you did to her, and I'm only being a real friend and telling you the real. You treated the girl like shit and for no reason, i told you to leave her alone"red said making me feel even more shitty.

"I know, i didn't want to fall in love with her but i did. I wanted to let her go but i couldn't, there was no way i could watch her leave me to be with someone else"i admitted and he shook his head.

"Everything is always about you though, have you once stopped and considered how she felt? How much she's sacrificed for yo ass? I bet not. I told you if you seen yourself being with this girl, you needed to continue to take your meds. I told you that. You did that girl wrong for no reason and manipulated her to the max. She couldn't even make her own decisions without you going up side her damn head. Im not trying to make you feel like shit but i am pissed off at you"he said.

"I did love her i mean i do but i don't allow myself to because i don't want to fall in love. But I'm just so obsessed with her, i only want her to myself. I don't like people talking to her or touching her. When I'm out i want her right up under me, i always want her body close to mine like she's so addicting. I love controlling her and manipulating her to train her to what i want her to be. I don't know why i have these crazy wishes but i do, but i never wanted to drive her insane to try and kill herself"i expressed.

"But you did and she never talked to anyone about her problems because she was scared of you. People who keep deep shit like that in for a long period of time snap eventually. You really need to get help, not only with your mental disorder but with your controlling ways. If kennedi pulls through you have to get this relationship right, especially since ya'll married and got two kids. You really want this relationship to work you got to show it, a relationship takes two. You're not in it alone, she is too. You have to stop treating her like shit and let her be her own person, just like you were getting on Bernice about treating her like a kid you need to stop treating her like a fuckin' animal because she's been nothing but good to you bro"he said and i nodded in agreement.

"You're right and i'll definitely get help because i really love her and i want us to work out for the sake of Cyden and Caden"i said and he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"You can do it man, you don't have to be an ass to prove a point. Take your meds and continue to because your health is also important, go to therapy if you really want to better yourself. Hell i'll go with you to the sessions if you want me too, change is always a good thing and shows that you're growing. Don't ever be scared of change"he said and i nodded.

"Now go check on your girl, i'll watch my nephews"he said.

"Alright thanks man, i won't be gone too long. Call me if they're any trouble"i said and he nodded. I left out the house and got in my car quickly starting it then took off. Everything Red was saying really was touching a nigga, i really want to change and start treating her how I'm suppose to. And its not like a dog. I want to put a smile on her face instead of making her scared of me, i want her to not be scared to come talk to me about things.