Chapter 12: At Least Try

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"I tell myself that I am not afraid." ~Piglet, Winnie the Pooh

* * *

* 1 Month Later *

"Imogen please get up! You promised," Kye said shaking me awake.

"I don't wanna go," I mumble turning away from him and borrowing myself into the covers.

"Imogen," he whines. "You made me a promise. We pinky swore on it."

"God dammit," I spit out sitting up in bed.

"Now was it really that hard to get up?" Kye asks smirking at me leaning against the wall. It's a struggle to look away honestly. He sleeps without a shirt on, and he has a nice body if I do say so myself. His biceps and six-pack are nice and toned, and it's a wonder to me as to how he hides them underneath the hoodies and sweaters he wears. It's one thing feeling them as he lays next to me at night, but it's a whole other thing to see them. Normally I'm still asleep when he gets up to shower and get dressed, so I never really see him shirtless in light. But today is different because I'm awake.

I'm awake because I'm supposed to try and start school.

When I first left my home, I didn't think about school or anything. The only thing I thought about then was how I was going to survive. Luckily for me, I didn't have to worry about that because Vladimir found me and introduced me to Kye. I've been here for a month either running errands with Kye or staying here with Rosalinda, but it isn't enough. There's too much time for me in the day where I do nothing. When I told this to Kye, he suggested that I try to go to school. I told him I would start on Monday a week from then.

That was last week.

"You like what you see?" Kye asks making my min snap back to the present.

"Huh?" I blurt out confused.

"You were staring," he says with a smirk playing across his features.

"Don't flatter yourself. I only zoned out. . . again," I say to him running a hand through my hair.

"Whatever you say," he says smiling and sliding over next to me. "You ready for school?"

"No," I groan throwing my pillow at him. He lets out an ompf and falls back against the wall resulting in a loud sound upon impact.

"What's going on up there?" yells Rosalinda from downstairs.

"Nothing mom," Kye shouts back at her.

"If you say so, but I don't think we need another Evangeline just yet," she responds back in all seriousness.

"MOM!" Kye exclaims his voice raising an octave. His face gets extremely red and his eyes grow wide while my neck turns red, and I scoot my body against the head board and make weird inhuman noises in embarrassment.

It takes us a few minutes to calm down before we can look in each other's eyes or talk.

"So you ready to go to school?"

* * *

"Come on Imogen it's not that bad," Astrid says to me as we stand in front of the school.

"It would've been better if Kye was here," I whisper looking up at the three story building.

"I know it would, but Kye said he was able to get you in all my classes which are all on the third floor. Half of the floor is storage, so not that many people are up there if it makes you feel better," Astrid says placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"W-would I be able to smoke here if I really needed it?" I ask looking at her.

"Just don't get caught with any of the weed smokers. Also, the best place would be the third floor bathroom because the windows open easily," she says facing the double doors.

"Thank you," I say to her.

"No problem," she says just as thunder roars close by. "Either we stay outside all day waiting for the rain to soak us or we go inside."

* * *

"Ok class, for homework I want you to read chapters 1-3 of To Kill a Mockingbird. We will be having an in depth discussion in class tomorrow on what you read. You may pack-up and leave when the bell rings," my ELA teacher, Ms. Jones, said as the end of the period drew near. I wrote down the homework assignment in my notebook because I promised myself that I would try to do well here. Unfortunately in this class, Astrid sits on the other side of the room.

When the bell rings, I wait for Astrid to come over before I stand up.

"Where's the bathroom on this floor?" I ask her with my hand starting to shake.

"I'll show you where it is. I'm surprised you were able to wait until lunch to smoke considering how nervous you are to be here," she says linking arms with me after we walk out the classroom. We walk down all the way to the other end of the hall where the bathroom is located. She pushes open the door for us, and we walk inside.

The bathroom is painted a beige color that is covered in graffiti of some sorts all over. There are three sinks, but one looks like it is broken. Ten bathroom stalls line the wall, and end where the windows are. Astrid leads me over to the windows and helps me open the middle window enough for me to smoke but not enough for the heavy rain to come in.

"Here you go," she says stepping aside. "I'm going to run down to the vending machines on the first floor to get us some chips and drinks. I'll be back in about five minutes."

"Ok try to come back quickly because I'm getting hungry," I say to her laughing. Once she leaves the bathroom, I am alone. I go back over to the open window and sit on the ledge before unzipping my school bag to dig around for my cigarettes and lighter. Finally finding them at the bottom of the bag, I light one and look outside. I watch the rain fall against the glass and listen to the thunder and lightening. The sound of rain always helps me calm down when I'm stressed out. I'm only scared of rain when the power goes out.

I check my phone as I finish off my cigarette and figure that Astrid will be back soon. As I wait, the rain gets heavier and the lightening becomes more frequent. I'll be fine as long as the power stays on. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid.

The power snaps off, and I'm left in darkness.

I feel my body start to shake, and I start to hyperventilate. What vision I have in the dark goes away, and all I see in a red light.

Oh no please. Not that red light. Anything but the red light!

I start to scream uncontrollably as the ghosts of what happen slither across my body making my skin crawl and my body arch in fear. I scream and scream feeling like the walls were closing in on me.

"Imogen! Imogen!" a voice calls out to me. It sounds familiar, but I can't place it. "Imogen! Stop it! What's going on?" After what feels like hours, I come back and see Astrid's frightened face peering at mine.

"I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm safe and still alive," I mutter my eyes moving around unfocused while my fingers twitched.

"Imogen, what is going on?" she asks sounding like she's going to cry.

"I have PTSD."

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Author's Note: I'm sorry this is updated a bit later than it should have been. As I explained on my author's note for Can You Remember?, I'm having some health issues and I've been sick a lot recently. I'm sorry this is a few says late. As always, I love you all!

~jnicoleb1234 out!



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