Vic (a divergent fanfiction)

14

I head back to my room after my shower, my hair still dripping wet. I feel extremely tired after the day's events, and I'm really looking forward to some good sleep. My hair is heavy when it's damp and it seems to stick to my blue dress. Blue is meant to be a calming colour, that's why it became the erudite colour. I think it odd that the erudite wished to wear clothes that would make everyone relax, but so be it.

I know I'm passing Felix's room. I am tempted to go say hello to him and see if he's ok. I wonder why I feel so drawn to him. I just want to be around him. I want to be close to him. Is this how you normally feel about a friend? I must ask Rune at some point. But it feels like the wrong thing to ask. This feeling feels embarrassing and private, but special in some way. This is different to the feelings I get around Cal, dad, Tori or anyone else. It's unique. I question if there is something strange, wrong or dangerous about this powerful obsessive feeling that I now get around Felix. A feeling that I was unaware of before. I knock on his door, despite my mind's desperate urge not to. Nervousness surrounds me as I hear someone coming to the door.

"Yes?" an unfamiliar boy asks, with an excited tone that could only mean a former amity. Before I can say a word, another voice sounds.

"Vic!" Felix calls, enfolding me in his arms. I'm not sure what to think. Part of my wishes to press closer to his warmth, embracing him tightly and tucking myself deep into his soft warmth, filling me with pleasure. Another part of me feels embarrassed, knowing that boys don't often hug girls, especially if they aren't friends. If they're friends it's different, but according to him we aren't. I flush slightly, smiling. I freeze, unsure of what to say or do. "Sorry." Felix says, embarrassed. He blushes a brilliant scarlet, obviously sensing my hesitation. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"No, you didn't exactly. I mean, you kind of did. But-but I-I kind of-I kind of-" I feel very stupid, lost for words, wondering why the heck I came. "I-I-I kind of liked it." I admit at last, my voice still shaking. Felix looks at me, waiting for me to state my business. "I was-well-well I-I wanted to say hi. Y-You know? See-see how you-see you? I-I guess-I guess I'll be-I'll be going now." I whisper coyly.

"Hey-umm-Vic?" Felix stutters, grabbing my shoulder as I turn to go. "We-I-" He pauses to think. "We are friends right? You know, like you said?" My heart skips a beat, and I suddenly am happy, really happy. My heart flutters with pleasure.

"Yes. Yes of course, Felix."

Then I leave. When I get back to my room I go to bed, ignoring the stares of my roommates. Nothing could ruin this feeling. Nothing. I feel like I could spit fire, climb the stars or succeed in everything. I feel like I could do anything, anything at all. I am a fire, being fueled by Felix's friendship and my determination. I feel real for the first time in my life. I feel like I just woke up, like I was just born. I feel dauntless. I will pass the erudite initiation, just as Cal passed the dauntless one. I will pass not only for me, but for Felix. I will become erudite for him, and for me. I can do anything, as I am divergent. I am Vic.