Vic (a divergent fanfiction)

25

I stare at Felix in shock. I wasn't expecting this dare, I thought we were just friends. Something else fills me too. A flutter of joy, longing or excitement. I don't understand it whatsoever. I feel the way you would if you got something you've wanted for a long time, a present or title that you've dreamed of recieving but never dared to ask for. My body tingles in nervous excitement, in anticipation of something more then friendship. Do I like him? I've never really considered what people call "liking someone." I never stopped to wonder what it meant. Often, I think of it as two people dating, or kissing. I never thought of what it actually felt like. Is this the right emotion? Or, is liking someone something else?

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Felix says quickly, "I don't want to force you into anything Vic."

"And I don't want to be a stiff. I'm not taking of any clothing, Felix. I'm no pansycake."

We both press forward awkwardly, not sure what to say or do. I kneel, leaving my cross legged sitting position. I press my dry cracked lips into his cheek and he falls silent, savouring the action. He likes me, that much is certain, but do I like him? The kiss feels awkward and childish, but I find myself enjoying the softness of his warm skin. I finally pull away from his cheek, leaving an awkwardness in the air. Then he pulls me back. I feel his soft and strong hands, guiding my lips to him. Our lips are soon pressed together, his lips full of a sweet honey taste. I can taste blood too, his lip's bleeding again. But Felix doesn't seem to care. It's as if he only cares about me, about this. The pressure is warm and hard, yet delicate in some way. I feel his hands in my hair, brushing softly at the loose strands, egging me on, protecting me from all harm. I want this to continue forever, for us to press closer until there's no space, no secerets of our pasts, nothing between us. As I continue to kiss him, I realise why I didn't want him to die. I know why I want him to survive, and suddenly feel selfish for it. I love Felix.