Sauli's POV:
"I'm home again!", I shout like I always do when I come home. Of course I get no answer, what else should I expect from my mute boyfriend? It still takes time to get used to that...
I wonder where Adam is. Maybe he wants to help me with dinner. First I look for him in the living room, then in the kitchen, but he isn't there. Suddenly I recognize some noises coming from upstairs. Or wait... it's music, a song. Adam's song. It sounds like 'better than I know myself'.
I wonder how Adam can take that, I mean, he's listening to his songs, which he can't sing ever again. If I were him it would break me.
I slowly walk upstairs. I don't know what to expect. Maybe Adam tries to start over again and be happy, staying calm by listening to his own music.
I open the door to our bedroom. What I see is sadly the complete opposite. Adam is sitting on the floor on the other side of the bed, his back leaning against it. First I could only see his brown messy hair.
When I come closer I see his laptop on his lap. He's watching the music video of 'better than i know myself'. Adam is crying again. This time it's even worse than last night. His face is wet from tears, his eyes red and swollen. He looks so exhausted, so broken.
I don't know what to do. I'm not sure, whether Adam ignores me or whether he just hasn't realized, that I entered the room. I know I can say everything I want and it wouldn't make Adam feel better. His life will probably never be the same again, I'm the only one who can still make him smile after all the terrible things, that had happened. And that's all I want, I want Adam to smile again. Everytime he cries, it breaks my heart. I wish I could change things. I wish I could help him, but I can't. The only thing I can do is sitting down besides him and rubbing his back, trying to comfort him, although I know it ain't help.
Well, that's what I do. Adam still doesn't look at me, he keeps staring at his laptop instead. Together we watch the video until the end. The emotions of the music video and the song make Adam cry even more. He leans his head against my shoulder, sobbing quietly. I close the laptop and hug my boyfriend from the side. I don't say anything. He knows what I think, that I'm sorry. I don't have to tell him anything, he feels it. Just as I can feel his pain. I hug Adam tighter and kiss his head. I would do anything to make him feel better. At least he knows, that he's safe in my arms. I bury my face in Adam's soft hair and wait for him to stop crying. I'm here for my boyfriend. Even it's the only thing I can do.
Adam's POV:
Great. Sauli saw me like this again. I hate crying in front of him. It was so cute how he tried to comfort me though. Even though it didn't really help.
I wonder why I'd been so dumb watching my music video. It hurts so much. I want to move on and go on tour, but I can't. I already miss those things so much! I want to sing again, I want everything to be how it was one week ago! I want my voice back.
Sauli just went down to prepare dinner, while I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I glance at myself in the mirror. God, I look horrible!
The cold water on my face feels so good, but my mood stays bad.
"Dinner's ready!", I hear Sauli shouting from the kitchen. I go downstairs. Actually I don't feel like eating at all. I feel bad for telling that to Sauli, because he had cooked dinner for nothing. I grab a sticky note and write:
I'm not hungry. Sorry
Sauli reads it.
"Maybe later?"
I shake my head.
"Adam....."
I look down. I don't want him to be worried, but I really don't want to eat right now. Sauli sighs and starts to eat alone. I was watching him and he was silent the whole time.
After dinner we both watched a movie. That's one of the things we could do without talking. Sauli and me were cuddling on the sofa, his head was laying on my chest. I notice that he could barely keep his eyes open. Damn! I'm not even able to ask him, whether he would rather sleep. I'm playing with his hair a little. Then I kiss him on his forehead. I love him so much! I don't know what I would do without him. Sauli lifts his head up and kisses my lips softly. Now I'm feeling a bit better. Sauli looks still tired though. I switch the TV off, grab Sauli's hand and we go upstairs and get ready for bed.
Sauli kisses me goodnight and then falls asleep immediately, while I'm laying there wide awake. I take my phone to check twitter and instagram, but after I'm finished I'm still not tired. After a few hours I finally fall asleep too.
Do you guys like the story so far? It's my first saulbert fanfic you know? :p
As I said before, I know, that most of my followers like Adommy better, but I thought some variety would be nice.
And Saulbert is so fucking cute♡
________Vanessa______☆☆☆☆☆
