Sauli's POV :
When I wake up next morning, Adam isn't lying next to me as usually. He probably got up early and is in the living room now. I hope he's not mad at me anymore. When I told him that I love him when we went to sleep yesterday, he hasn't even looked at me. I'm not mad at him for slapping me. It didn't really hurt, just the fact THAT he slapped me hurt a lot. But at least he apologized and I forgave him. I could never be mad at him, I love him.
Last night I wondered if he still loves me the same after what I did. I really hope he does, I can't imagine life without him.
I go downstairs to find Adam. In fact he's sitting on the sofa with a random magazine. I sit down next to him, but I don't dare to hold his hand or put my arm around him. He wouldn't want that anyway.
"Hey b....Adam", I don't even dare to call him 'baby' like I usually do. I'm sure that's annoying to him, too.
"Why are you up that early?", I ask. Adam doesn't even react. Obviously he is still mad at me. I sigh.
"Adam, look, I don't wanna fight with you again. I've never wanted to. I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, I really am! I promise, that won't ever happen again."
Adam seems like he wasn't even listening.
"Adam, look at me! I love you, okay? I love you more than anything, even if I'm not allowed to show it to you! Please believe me!"
Now Adam has lifted his head up and is listening to what I'm saying. Our eyes meet. I missed staring into his beautiful eyes. Now would be the perfect moment to kiss. I know he doesn't want any kisses. I can see kind of fear in his eyes. And deep sadness. He's still suffering so bad, I feel sorry for my baby. I move my right hand very slowly near Adam's. When I found it, I grab it and lock our fingers together, still looking into his eyes. Adam stares at me for a moment until he let off my hand and stands up. I have no idea where he wants to go, or if it wasn't okay for him to hold hands. It really gets worse every day. It feels like I can't even touch my boyfriend. There's one thing I need to know before I let him go though. I stand up jerkily.
"Do you still love me?"
Adam turns around, facing me. He grabs a sheet of paper and a pencil from the table (I spread paper and pencils everywhere in case Adam wants to 'talk' to me and his phone isn't there) and writes:
I love you, even if sometimes it doesn't seem so. I love you no matter what you've done or what happened. And I believe you, that you love me. I trust you.
I read the note and smile. Fine, so I have nothing to worry about! Adam smiles back briefly and then goes upstairs.
***
In the evening I go shopping for some food and stuff. I've promised Adam I won't be away that long. He 'said' it's okay and I needn't hurry because of him being alone. I've got it, he doesn't want to have me near him today. I try to get used to it. At least we know that we love each other.
So I drive to the supermarket and buy the few things we need. I put them all in a plastic bag, which I carry to my car. I was just about to get in when I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Sauli? I didn't expect to see you here after all those years!"
I turn around.
"Gabe? Is that you? What are you doing here?"
Gabe has been my boyfriend about 5 years ago. I didn't even remember why we broke up. It's nice to meet him again though.
"I moved here 2 years ago. Dude, there's so much to talk about, why don't we go to that cafe over there?
"Sounds good! I'm sure Adam doesn't mind me being away a bit longer!"
I lock my care and we go to the cafe which was next to the supermarket. We sit down at a table next to the window and both order a coffee.
"So you're dating Adam Lambert?", Gabe asks.
"Yes, we're together for more than a year now", I smile.
"I heard rumors about you and him having had a car accident."
My smile fades.
"Yeah that's true. I didn't get hurt badly, but Adam is mute now."
"Oh shit, I'm sorry!"
I fake a smile. "It's okay, let's just talk about something else. What about you? Tell me about your life!"
Gabe tells me that he's single and that he moved to california because of his job. Then we talk about random stuff, laugh a lot and had so much fun together. We talk about the past and bring some memories back, like old friends. Time passes and I suddenly realize, that we've been talking for nearly two hours.
"I should better go home now, Adam's probably wondering where I am. It was so nice to meet you though!"
"Okay, I'll walk you to your car. I would like to see you again, maybe tomorrow evening?"
"Sure!" I suggest to meet at a bar not far from mine and Adam's home. We arrive at my car.
"Well, then see you tomorrow!"
I give him a hug.
"Yeah I'm looking forward! I'm so glad we've met again, I almost forgot how funny you are!"
We both chuckle. Then suddenly Gabe's face turns into a serious look.
"I missed you, Sauli!"
He slowly leans in until our lips meet in a soft short kiss. It was so surprising and I don't realize what's happening.
"Please don't do that again! I have a boyfriend!"
"I know, sorry! See you tomorrow."
Gabe is blushing, then he turns around and goes away. I shrug, get into my car and drive home.
