Alone with you... (Billdip)

Chapter Nine: Pine Tree's Room

(Bill's POV)

After a week or so without using magic, and helping Dipper along with Pacific with the journals Bill seems to finally start losing himself. Not knowing if his demon and human side can find a balance before someone ends up dead.

I feel like I'm going insane! It's like all the built magic is going to my head so reality and my mind scape are starting to smash together that it feels like I'm normal again. Or maybe I'm just normal again.

I stared at the mirror showing lies. Or maybe the truth. I wasn't sure anymore. I couldn't be. The truth was lies and the lies truth, but they're not and I was about ready to curl up into a ball and die. No.

I didn't want die, but to kill. I need that sense of power again, it's a habit I can't  break.

I looked myself again. A human eye that didn't see all. The other covered with an eyepatch forever to remain hidden. Pale human skin. Blonde human hair. This wasn't right.

No top hat nor cane. No trace of my old triangular form. I could feel and see without knowing or understanding. I knew everything now I know nothing. All forgotten and lost somewhere in my mind slowly rotting away. Same as to all the old memories I try to push away. So many come flooding back.

I can't handle this. Being human. No magic. No killing. Caring. Loving. It's not right.

"Bill, are you okay? You've been in there for a long time," Dipper's voice calmed me down for second. Just long enough to see a picture of him and I together.

"Stand still, I want take picture. You look cute with cat ears." I remember Dipper saying before snapping a picture of us. I was off guard and confused but he took it anyway. Smiling happily with an arm around me. "Meow!" I hissed after seeing the bright light of the camera flashing.

Something about his voice and those memories just got me. I still felt the urge to be my old self, but the lack of magic and thought of people truly caring for me kept me going. So with I sign, I recollected myself.

I took a deep breath in and out, used the desk to help me stand up properly, and fixed up my appearance. "Bill?" He tried to open the door. "Bill, why is it locked? Let me in!" He banged on the door calling my name.

I cleared my throat and put away any demonic looking things now ready to open the door for Dipper.

He fell into the room now on his knees in front of me. "Sorry, are you alright?" I asked helping him up. "Fine. What were you doing in here all alone... with the door locked?" He questioned slowly. I shrugged for reply. "Just napping," we sat down on the bed.

"I've been trying figure out what Micky meant when he talking about bad wording in the spell." He stated knowing that I understood this. "Did you tell it in the exact words?" I asked.

He paused for a moment before speaking again. "No. Maybe that was it. I'm only yours so you would want to protect your poverty which makes sense." He bit on a pen opening up a notepad and trying work it out on his own in his head without thinking to ask me about the one who sled the spell and basically made the deal one first place.

"So the water turning into gas would make some sense if it was trying hurt me, but it's just water," he stopped and looked at me. "It would only protect me against something actually dangerous, right? So there had to be something with the water... but what?" He was getting upset until I finally spoke up.

"It doesn't matter. I was being mean. I just..." I signed out of energy. "I just don't care anymore... I need just need you." I claimed right before Micky came walking in. "Hey, I had heard some yelling. Everything alright here?"

"We're fine." I barked at him. "Whoa, easy. Calm down there." My temper, my emotions, my sanity, were all slowly decaying into my insanity. Sooner or later it wouldn't matter because I'd be too far gone to care.

"Actually, Bill you've been a bit off today. Are you sure everything is alright?" Dipper asked me once again.

The door slammed shut and I couldn't tell if I'd had been the one to do it, but the two of them thought I did. "What the hell..." Micky tried to open the door but failed. The room growing darker, the air becoming heavier, and the look of fear on the two boys' faces were priceless. Horror engulfed them as to what they had just wiseness in pine tree's bed room.

Although, I couldn't focus on that for it had felt as if a great evil has been unleash and for some reason I felt deep within my stomach I had no idea who it was- me or something else. My only question was my mind going full on crazy as to why I couldn't tell if it was me or not. A minor issue at the moment for them and later myself too.

For I had no idea if the dark force approaching was me or another much greater evil coming to kill us all here in Gravity Falls. But we were soon to find out.