Call Me Six

39: 'Blue Truck' -Tobias

TOBIAS-

I hate road trips. Like seriously. They're horrendous.

Stuck in a blue truck for three hours...

So my idea of a day out turned to shit... Apparently trucks need gas in order to continue working. I'm mean it's an easy thing to forget, right?

I can almost feel how angry she is right now. Sat beside me, her legs curled under, her shoulders set, a frown etching it's way across her face.

"Try the phone again," she said, still refusing to look my way.

"I have and there's still no reception; just like there was five minutes ago, Tris."

"Well where's the nearest gas station?"

"Two miles back the way we came - just like I said five minutes ago."

"I'll walk it-"

"It's snowing-"

"I don't care."

"You'll get ill."

"Watch me."

She unbuckled herself and went to reach for the door, but quickly, I slammed the lock down.

"You're not walking four miles in the snow. You will get ill or lost or freeze to death. Wait for it to stop or wait for a car to drive past and stop being stupid." The words came out stressed, almost unrecognisable as my own.

We fell into a silence.

Tris once again wouldn't even look my way. The only sound was of our breaths, the evidence forming in the cold air.

Out of boredom, I turned the radio on. Because we were currently in the middle of nowhere, it took a bit of fiddling until I found a channel that wasn't opera, cricket, or just crackling noise.

"Tris? I'm sorry. I know you didn't even want to be here in the first place and I'm sorry I forgot gas, but can you please just talk to me? All I wanted to do was talk.

"I hate that you hate me and don't say you don't because it's so blatantly obvious.

"I've tried, Tris. I've tried to talk to you and I've tried to make it better. I know that what I did was wrong and I've tried to make it up to you but you won't let me. Please just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I'll do anything at this point for you to just talk to me.

"You weren't just my girlfriend, Tris. You were my best friend back in Chicago. And I know I fucked up - I fucked up big time and I can tell you time an time again that it's the biggest mistake I've ever made but it won't change the fact that it happened and I'm sorry." It felt like a weigh had been lifted as the words I'd been meaning to say finally came out. But now they were out, time slowed as I waited for a reply; a response; anything.

She merely sighed, taking a hand through her hair and for the first time in three hours, locking her eyes with mine. Her hand reached out, taking my own in her own small, dainty, frozen fingers. "You have something wrong, Tobias. I don't hate you. I never have and never will.

"I hate that I care when time and time again I tell myself not to."