Call Me Six

50: 'Nothing' -Tris

TRIS-

Blank spaces of time is all there is. You can try to fill them the with somethings but it's all just actions. There's no fate or destiny or any of that bullshit. There's distractions; that is all.

It's pure existence.

And you can try to jazz it up with emotions and feelings but they're all just fantasies. You can swap between hate and love in a heartbeat, call it a mood swing and then just keep feeling, but that's only what you do to occupy the seconds. You can say whatever glorious fantasy of love but not once mean it.

I'm existing. Serving a purpose. I don't need those distractions. I don't need to care.

I had my night of tears. It's time to face the music and get on with life and it's many distractions.

The distractions... Created by people who fear or ignore the ticking countdown to the cease of your existence. How can I fear nothingness, though? It's not a thing. A zero. A mere idea. You can't fear nothing.

It's just another day. One less day until my nothing.

~

School. Another distraction.

Education - opinions we're trained to know.

The dull murmur of a home economics class is easy to tune out. Apparently they decided that today was the day they'd teach a bunch of seniors how to use condoms - a few years too late, might I add.

Although, it was amusing watching Gruger flush a deep shade of red as he demonstrated how to put a strawberry flavoured condom on a banana; and split it... Maybe not the best teacher to take contraceptive advice from, since he has five children. I wonder why...

And then you have the girls screaming about how, "eww! It's slimy!" And the boys trying to stretch and inflate them over their heads. How mature.

I'm perfectly happy napping on my desk in the back corner. Or at least I was until someone sat down I front of me and started drumming their fingers obnoxiously on their desk.

"What?" I snapped and and looked up, only to be greeted with those wild eyes. Slowly I sat up, trying to get as far from him whilst still appearing calm.

"Tris," he said, removing the pencil from between his teeth.

"Michael." I almost couldn't breath. He was sat mere inches from me, acting as if we were still mates from the bar.

"I wasn't quite listening to Gruge over there," he said, missing off the last syllable of our foul teacher's name in an attempt to mock. "Mind showing me how it's done? I mean you've clearly had the experience but I somehow feel like I missed out on the show in our passionate night of... Scrabble."

"We didn't play-"

"You know what I mean," he said and place a banana and sealed condom on the desk in front of me. "Show me what you'd do," he said; winking. His once goofy wink shone in a new light now.

I picked up the fruit, turning it over in my hands before placing it down on the desk with a shrug. "Don't feel like it, Michael."

"I'm not leaving 'till you do," he said in a singsong voice and put it back in my hands. "Let's see what I missed out on."

I honestly don't know what I was doing. But I ripped open the packet, threw the green piece of flavoured latex at his face, picked up the banana and twisted it until mush poured out the sides. I stood, slinging my bag over my shoulder before walking around the row of desks and making my way out the room; not before wiping the mushed banana from my hand, onto his face and saying, in the most deadly voice I could muster, "imagine that is your dick, dear Michael."