Call Me Six

28: 'He Bust The Bathroom Door Down' -Tris

TRIS-

He kept calling; Caleb, that is. Explaining how he was sorry. I could hear Cara's voice in the background, though. He was repeating every word she said. He wasn't sorry.

Tobias said I could stay at his for a while. He said the place feels less empty when I'm around. Said that he didn't want to force me to go back to to my maniac brother. Said that he liked the company. Said that I kept him distracted from his own thoughts.

It's calm.

No more drinking or smoking or shouting or swearing, just quiet nights watching Netflix and eating whatever food we could throw together.

Sometimes, we'd stumble upon an unopened bottle of glitter or accidentally drop something in the many piles that fill the house. It's hard - to just stand there as his eyes fall glossy and the world fades away from him in the moment. He just stares. Stares at the sparkling flakes as if, somehow he believes they could fix anything.

It's scary.

He won't sleep alone. Whenever I'm gone for more than five minutes, he starts screaming my name as if I've fallen off the face of the earth when in reality, I went to take a shower.

He bust the bathroom door down. Insisting that he thought I was hurt.

"I panicked, I'm sorry," he said, as another round of tears came. "You stopped singing and I thought you might have slipped and fell."

"It's okay," I assured him, but nothing could take that pained look off his face. A permanent expression of dread. As if he was scared what would happen in the next few moments.

When the funeral director came, it was even worse... His arms were locked permanently around my waist or shoulders throughout the entire meeting.

"I'm going to make us some tea," I said. But he'd come up with a flurry of excuses as to why I should stay or why he should help too.

Over and over it'd be the same process of explaining that I'd be in the next room. That he could shout if he needed me. That everything would be fine.

~

The house was quiet once again.

I was curled up in bed, kept warm in the chilled air by the body cradling me loosely.

"Tobias," I murmured, nudging his shoulder slightly to check if he's awake. He wasn't.

I was trapped; confined to the small space between his chest and arms. It felt... Suffocating.

I've been trapped in this house with him for the past week and a half and can't stand it anymore. He was growing so clingy and it was driving me crazy.

The bed shifted - letting out a slight creak as I inched my way down and eventually out of his grip. I pressed a pillow into his arms and checked one more time to see if he was still sleeping. Like the dead.

Quickly, I got dressed and scribbled down a note for him incase he wakes before I return. I'm not completely heartless.

I can't believe I still have to sneak out...

Even as I tip-toed, it sounded like an elephant was stomping through the house as I ran down the the large staircase, trying to get out as fast as possible. The silence was what I'd grown so used to... Even the slightest noise in this silent hellhole was enough to set my nerves on fire.

I threw my heels on quickly before tumbling out the door and sprinting into the street. The night air is glorious. It's amazing how much you can miss being alone for even the shortest periods of time.

I couldn't help it... I started to cheer in the middle of the street as if I'd just escaped hell. Okay, fine... Hell's a bit harsh. Prison, maybe?

"Hey!" a mans voice shouted. "Get out the road!"