Call Me Six

32: 'Stay Forever' -Tris

TRIS-

It's so cold.

I gather the wilting white flowers from her grave and replace them quickly with the new bunch and a small vial of silver glitter. It was decided by Tobias that we would plant a white rose bush in the spring so that she'd always have the beauty of fresh flowers, but through the winter months, we were going to have to simply replace them each week.

A small picture frame sat by the glass vase. The young girls' face grinned happily at me as I sat back, knowing she was gone.

By my side, Tobias sat. He was reading from the pages of an old story book. The blue stained leather was peeling at the edges and the gold embossed writing was fading. The Truth About Nothing, was what the gold lettering said.

"And the angels will dance - knowing that such a beauty was joining them. The wind is their song and the rain, their tears of joy.

"For the lost princess is found. Returned to the lands where all is well and no evil can do her harm."

I moved behind him, my arms looping around his shoulders and my head resting against his own.

It's warm. The comforting heat that reminds you you're not alone.

"That was always her favourite one; a beautiful story," he said. A shaky laugh escaped him as he closed the book and took my hands in his own. "I almost feel like it isn't beautiful anymore... All the people she left behind. What if they didn't want her to go?"

I breathe in his scent - trying desperately to fathom a response.

"Not everyone can stay forever, Tobias. We all leave somewhen."

The silence returned; and we just sat there; holding onto each other as if the world was about to collapse around us.

The final few petals from the cherry tree fell around us, gathering in pools above the child's memorial. Every year it would flower again, it's beauty standing strong. And when the wind blew, it's beauty would be set loose to fly through the summer breeze. But for now, it was giving, in a melancholic manner, protecting the child with bursts of pink innocence.

~

It's growing late by the time we return to the house.

We were sat at the breakfast counter, eating the remnants of the biscuits and gravy that I'd prepared a few minutes prior.

"Beatrice," he said, "I have something to tell you."

"Oh, so do I," I wasn't expecting an announcement from him. In fact, I didn't expect anything really.

I had planned out so many ways to tell him my news that his potential intervention never crossed my mind.

"That's ok, you can go first," he said whilst carefully placing down his knife and fork.

Breath. Remember to breath, stupid.

"I'm going home-"

"What?! But you are home." And here comes the dreaded Tobias Eaton intervention.

"No, Tobias. My home. The one with my brother, his wife and Will." He just stared at me as his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"But Caleb said-"

"Caleb's my brother! Yes, we fight and argue but I still love him. He's my family for God's sake. I can't just leave him."

"So you're leaving me instead? Gee, Tris, thanks. Way to make someone feel second best to an asshole."

"It's called a second chance!" I snapped and got up from the counter, threw my dish into the sink and proceeded to evacuate the kitchen.

I rushed upstairs, grabbed the small pre-packed suitcase that I packed earlier this morning and ran back down the stairs. He was stood there. I'm the middle of the hall. Blocking my exit.

"Don't leave me, please... I can't do this alone," he said, slowly taking steps towards me.

"Yes you can. I know you can. You just have to be brave - and you're so brave, Tobias.

"Today was proof that you will survive. The mourning won't last forever... She'd want you to be happy and-"

"I am happy; I'm happy with you here."

Inch by inch, I made my way forwards, slowly growing closer to both the door and him.

"No you're not. You don't sleep. You don't eat. You barely talk to anyone. You're becoming a recluse.

"It gets to a stage where you just have got to help yourself, Tobias.

"Do me a favour and try to go to school tomorrow, okay?"

Reluctantly, he nodded. So I took that a my cue to leave.