Foster Me: Emerson's Secret (ON GOING)

Emerson's Secret

"A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it." - Frank A. Clark

Prologue

I don't know where to begin.

There's something intimating about sharing secrets that you've let fester inside you for weeks, months, let alone years.

I know I have to address them in order to move forward, but I'm not ashamed to say that I'm scared. The thought of unleashing my dirty secrets to people; people who've taken me in temporarily terrifies me. Jake and Carol haven't signed legal papers that said I'm theirs forever, so they can still change their minds about me.

When they learn the truth, they may never look at me the same way. They might not want me anymore.

I've hurt foster parents before and that might not be something they could understand.

You don't know what it's really like till it happens to you.

The foster system is a cruel place and it sometimes can break you. Sometimes you're fortunate to be placed with a wonderful family that want to take kids in because they have a kind heart.

Then there are terrible people who should not be allowed to take vulnerable kids in---but they do. They foster for the sole purpose of receiving additional government funding. They aren't told they have a way with children and are interested in making a genuine difference in the life of a troubled child. They are terrible people with horrible agenda's.

I've been placed in terrible placements before. I've been in the homes of women who take children in so their pedophile boyfriends have eye candy to look at. I've been the 11th foster kid in a household of 13. ---You don't get the attention that you desperately need. I was placed in a home where the family came to collect their check at the end of the month, but left you to fend for yourself during the rest of the time.

If my life was any different, I would have acted differently.