Foster Me: Emerson's Secret (ON GOING)

Chapter 20

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November 29, 2013

Dear Journal,

Things have been rough. Stuff hasn't been going my way and I'm just frustrated. I'm frustrated with myself....with Levi and I don't know what else to do. I can't talk to Jake and Carol about these things cuz they might just send me off cuz I got too many problems. Foster parents don't want problematic kids.. They want the easy route.

I'm too scared to tell anyone, anything. One mistake, and it could mean the end.

My nightmares are back and I think it's partly cuz I'm stressing. That and I'm not feeling very comfortable with Jake and Carol right now. I've overheard them on a phone with someone, talking about getting a new foster kid. I think they want to get rid of me and replace me with a boy.

Amber keeps sending me threatening messages since our little altercation. Through text but now also through paper messages she slides into the slit at the bottom of my locker. I have a nice collection already that I'm holding onto. I don't know why though. It's not like I plan on telling on her. I just...I'm sorta starting to believe that maybe she is right. Maybe I am a home wrecker.

-Emerson

**

I buckled my seat belt in the back of Jake's car as he started the engine. Carol and Jake made reservations for all of us tonight at a restaurant. We even dressed up a bit. I had to borrow something from Carol's closet as I didn't have anything really nice to wear. It's a good thing we are close to each others size.

I settled on wearing a black and white, sleeveless, belted lace dress. It was really pretty I just figured it was a little much for dinner at a restaurant. When I have gone to restaurants with other foster families before, we were never dressed- up. We were always dressed- down.

"So," I said, "Where are we doing exactly?"

"Just wait. You'll see." said Carol from the passenger seat with excitement in her eyes. She seemed a little too excited to be going out for dinner.

I was happy that I was going to eat. That was the extent of my excitement.

"Aren't we kind of overdressed?" I asked.

Jake turned down the music. The blaring rap music made it a bit difficult to hear. "We're going to a nice place tonight. 4 star place."

This is highly unnecessary. A burger and fry place would be fine too. Wait...were we celebrating something.

"Um,"  I paused, "am I missing something?" I would feel really embarrassed if today was one of their birthdays and I didn't know.

Turns out today was their wedding anniversary...Awkward.

**

A lady dressed in a black mini seated us. Our table was near the gas fireplace which was nice. Turns out there was really no need for that sweater I had brought along just in case.

"Isn't it nice, Emerson." Carol grinned, admiring the inside of the restaurant.

"I like it. It's uh classy."

Jake laughed out, "And that's why we got all dressed up."

Now I know. I don't do classy restaurants very often. Give me a break.

"It's a sentimental place for us," Carol added, rubbing Jake's back. "This is where we had our first date."

"How long have you two been married for?" I took a drink of my water.