Cornered

Awakening 1

Jean knew he wanted Jessica. He wanted to be with her, to raise a family with her. He wanted to stay here forever with her; where things were peaceful. They would build a farm together and he would draw on the weekends. They would dance under the full moon and go on walks in the brilliant sunshine. Jean breathed deeply. This was paradise. The sun was just starting its long path to setting when he arrived at Jessica's house. As promised she was ready. Together they started off talking happily and smiling at one another. Jean lost track of time, the sun's advance which was normally slow accelerated until it disappeared. The moon rose giving them illumination as they continued their walk. Jean took her to a place where the river danced silver in the moonlight and made the aspen's glow. She laughed softly and told him it was beautiful. He sat down and she did likewise. Their faces were close and she was closing her eyes. Jean was about to do the same when he heard his name.

"Jean, you have to fight." Jean jerked back from Jessica looking around wildly.

"Mikasa?"

"If you don't you will die. Win and you will survive." Jean continued looking around for her. Jessica was looking at him curiously clearly not having heard the voice.

"Jean, is everything all right?" Jean didn't answer her. Was Mikasa here as well? It would make sense as he had seen Eren and Armin earlier. Perhaps she had just been away.

"Fight, fight and win so you can survive." her voice urged.

"I don't understand," he answered. "Fight what? Fight who?" Flashes of memory tried to surface but they weren't strong enough. He was answered only by silence. Jean stood hoping perhaps he would be able to spot her if he stood up. He walked back the way they had come Jessica calling after him. He heard her jogging to catch up as he broke into a run searching for Mikasa. He had heard her; surely she must be there somewhere. Perhaps around the next corner or behind the next tree.

"Jean wait! Where are you going?" Jessica called after him. Jean made it back to the road and still he hadn't seen any sign of Mikasa.

"Are you really going to betray your comrades?" her voice asked and he could hear the anger.

"No."

"Are you really just going to give up and die? I thought you cared about us more than that."

"I do. Mikasa where are you?"

"I thought you found your purpose." Those words entered Jean's body like a knife. Memories came surging back. Marco, their training, his dead body. Titans. So many he couldn't remember exactly how many he'd seen. They were real, that was real, not this fantasy he'd been sucked into. This was all a lie.

"Jean!" it was Marco's voice. Jean looked up at him with horrified eyes. He'd been pulled into a dream. "Jean, what's wrong with you?" Jean held up his arms as if he was warding Marco away. No, it isn't Marco, he reminded himself. It's just a dream, all of it, a dream.

"Will you abandon that? Will you abandon us!?" Mikasa's voice continued driving the knife deeper. Jean trembled like he'd actually been stabbed his mind reeling. Her words sunk in making sense at last. Fight, she had bidden him, fight and survive. He felt the tears flow from his eyes as he looked at Marco. The image before him kept being overlaid with the dead body he had seen in the street of Trost.

"Marco," He whispered.

"What is it Jean? I'm right here, let me help you." Jean's trembling increased. He couldn't do this, he couldn't lose Marco again, but he knew he must. If he stayed here he would die, and Mikasa; Mikasa wasn't here. She was back there in the real world he had left behind for this one. Marco came forward his arms outstretched as if he would help Jean.