Recollections

The Time We Got Into A Fight

The Time We Got Into A Fight
(song of the chapter: Like a Star // Corinne Bailey Rae)

I stood up from the circle formed around the campfire, sweeping my hands across the bum of my shorts to remove any dirt. My eyes are everywhere except for Austin's face as I scramble to grab ahold of my purse.

Austin's hand moves quickly, reaching out and grabbing ahold of my bag so I cannot walk away. "Let go." I nearly growl, meeting his eyes for the first time.

There is a fire burning behind his eyes that I can't seem to recognize. His lips part, his grip on my bag not loosening. "Erin, where are you going?"

Our friends sitting around the fire with us are trying not to stare at our interaction, but my standing is really drawing attention. The fact that his ex girlfriend is staring at me, feigning innocence is making my skin boil even more. "I just want to...go." I lower my voice.

"I'm not letting you drive, you've been drinking." Austin snappily replies, rising to his feet and walking away from the fire, tugging me along with him by the hold he has on my purse.

When we're far enough from the fire that the light is no longer illuminating our path, he turns to me.

"I'm sobered up, I can drive." I blurt.

"How am I supposed to get home then Erin? We rode here together, and I'm not ready to leave yet!" The volume of his voice raises, but I don't cower away.

"I'm sure Kate would LOVE to drive you home. Stay as long as you want Austin." His name sounds like acid leaking from my mouth, and I can tell it stung by the way he flinches slightly.

"Erin--" he starts, but I cut him off. "Here's the apartment key, so you aren't locked out." I shove the key into his palm and get inside of the car, slamming the door, before he can say anything else.

He watches me back out of the dirt driveway, and I watch him from my rearview until the night's darkness overwhelms everything except for what my headlights expose.

**

I'm relieved that my parents are on vacation because it would've been horrendous to explain to them why I'm not sleeping at my own apartment tonight. When I reach the front door, I lift up the small statue of a puppy holding a welcome sign and grab the key from beneath it, unlocking the front door and then replacing the key where it belongs.

The house is pleasantly silent, and again I thank the lucky stars that my parents are away on vacation. I feel like an idiot for handing my key over to Austin, because I locked myself out. At the same time, I'm relieved I won't have to face him tonight.

My tired feet carry me down the hallway and into the room that I used to call mine, but my parents now call the guest room. Stepping into the bathroom attached to my room, I run the shower water as hot as it will allow me. One by one I peel my clothes off and get into the steaming shower. Hot beads of water pierce my skin and I wince for a moment until my body adjusts to the heat. My back presses into the tile wall and I slide down to the floor, letting the water fall atop of me like rain.

Tears begin to mix with the shower water and I run over the events of tonight. The idea of Kate driving him home almost makes me puke right here in the shower. My mind roams to the idea of Austin unlocking the door to discover I'm not home, inviting Kate inside, then him taking her clothes off slowly the ways he's done to me so many times.

A lump that formed in my throat makes me choke. Coughs erupt from my mouth and tears bleed from my eyes as I think about the possibility that this may be the end of us.

I'm not sure how much longer I stayed in that shower before I finally stood, put on a robe, and climbed into bed.

**