Recollections

The Time Austin's Dad Died

The Time Austin's Dad Died
(song of the chapter: Love Is You // Chrisette Michele)

Candice's tear stained face is weakly smiling at us as she greets Austin and I at the front door.

Austin's arms immediately wrap around his mother. And though he's much taller and stronger than the small, frail woman, the way he's hugging her is as if she's his anchor. He's clinging to her as if he's a little boy again and I feel my heart break for the millionth time.

"Thank you for driving down here on such short notice. Elena will be here in a few hours, she just had to handle some things at school. There's just so much going on with the funeral arrangements and--" Candice's words are cut short by the abrupt sob that bursts from her lips. She turns away from us to shield our eyes from her consuming tears. Her hand waves to us behind her head, as if to signal that she's okay. Austin moves closer to her and puts his arms around her shoulders.

"Mom, I'll handle the rest of the arrangements. You need to lie down for a little while, when was the last time you've slept?" With his hands still on her shoulders he guides her down the long hallway to her room.

Shortly later he emerges from his mother's suite. Austin glances in my direction and gesture towards his phone. "I'm gonna make some calls. If you need me I'll be upstairs."

I absently watch him walk up the stairs and the corners of my lips tug down slightly. He's hardly spoken to me since he's found out about his father's passing. Throughout the three hour drive to his parents' house he probably spoke two full sentences to me. I mean, I know that they were close, but I'm trying to be here for him and he isn't allowing me to be. His emotions are being kept behind a wall and I'm barricaded out.

Not wanting to disturb him while he makes his Father's funeral arrangements, I begin busying myself with tasks around Candice's house. I wash dishes, I clean out her fridge, I put a load of laundry in the wash and fold the clothes that are in the dryer, and finally I cook dinner for Candice. Nearly two hours later, I'm restless. There's nothing left for me to do, so I creep up the stairs to see what Austin's up to.

My hand gently knocks on the door to his old bedroom, but when I receive no answer I twist the knob to let myself in. I'm partly surprised when Austin is nowhere to be found in his room. Shuffling sounds come from down the hall catch my attention. The door to Austin's Father's office is open slightly and I peek in. Austin is sitting in the black office chair that his father sat in so many times before. He's shuffling through his father's old pictures and there's the smallest hint of a smile on his face. I can't seem to bring myself to enter, so instead I back away from the door and go back downstairs to let him have his moment of peace.

Candice eventually emerges from her room. Her eyes are hollow but the deep purple bags that were previously beneath them have faded ever so slightly.

"I don't know if you're hungry, but I made you dinner?" I blurt, my nerves getting the best of me.

Candice tilts her head back, smelling the aroma of the food I've made. She moves closer to me and pulls me in to an unexpected embrace. Slowly, my arms mimic hers and I hug her tightly. "I'm glad Austin has you." She whispers against my shoulder.

Faster then I can process, she's pulled away and is making a plate of the food I just finished. "Erin, honey, what is this?" She cautiously asks. I smile halfheartedly as I respond. "It's spaghetti carbonara, my mom's special recipe."

Candice sits down at the bar in her kitchen and I join her. Back and forth we chat about a slew of things. School, Elena, mine and Austin's new apartment, and we had just breached the topic of Austin's father when I notice Austin. Candice stops talking about her late husband, Harold, when she sees what I'm staring at. He's leaning against the end of the staircase eyeing the two of us.