Recollections

The First Time We Made Love

The First Time We Made Love
(song of the chapter: Crazy in Love // Sofia Karlberg)

My heart is racing as Austin walks me up to the door of my dorm room. The key card to unlock my door is trying to slip from my grip due to my sweaty palms. I'm about to initiate a really big step between Austin and I, but he has no idea. Elena is out for the night so we'll have the room to ourselves, but he doesn't know this either.

Swiping my clammy hands on my pants, I turn and face Austin. He's already smiling at me, his shiny teeth making my heart race and those blue orbs making my stomach flutter.

"I love spending time with you." He says, as if it's a confession.

My lips tug upwards into a wide smile and I nod in agreement. "I love spending time with you also."

Something about my response makes him smile wider, as if he didn't think that I would agree. His body leans towards mine slightly and one of his hands cups my cheek gently as he goes in for his routine goodnight kiss that usually brings our dates to a close. The pressure of his lips on mine is soft and gentle. Both of my arms wrap around the lower part of his torso, holding him against me as I deepen the kiss. Austin's breath catches in the back of his throat, obviously surprised that I'm allowing our kiss to get this heated. Usually one of us breaks up our make out sessions when they go this far, in fear of Elena walking out of the room to witness something she wouldn't find appealing.

I lean back against my dorm door and pull Austin's body with mine. His greedy hands are sliding down the sides of my torso to rest on my hips, and I can feel my temperature rising. I pull my lips away from his, breathing deeply to catch my breath.

Austin takes this as his cue to leave for the night, but he doesn't look at all unsatisfied.

"Good night." He grins, turning to walk away. My hand swings out, grabbing ahold of his so that he turns around. His brows are raised in question and I lay my head back against the door before I speak.

"Come inside." I purr.

For a moment I think I see Austin gulp in nervousness, but surely that must be my mind playing tricks on me. But as I scan over his face again, I can tell he's skeptical.

"Come inside," I repeat. "Elena's not home, and she won't be tonight."

His feet are walking back towards me, but his face still shows slight skepticism. I turn my back to him and unlock the door to my room, stepping inside and holding the door open for him to enter.

When we're both completely inside of the room, I close the door and slide off my heels, my height dropping a few inches lower than before. My heart is racing faster than ever before. I'm not quite sure how to start this or if I should come right out and say to him that I want to have sex tonight. We've discussed sex before, and he knows I'm not a virgin. I've never had the issue of initiating sex before, or even felt nervous with other guys, but with Austin it's different.

The more we both stand here in silence, the more stupid I begin to feel. Just because I'm ready, doesn't mean he is. How selfish of me not to take him into consideration in this equation.

Finally, I turn to him. His light eyes are following my every movement as I come closer to him and catch his hands in mine.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks. "You." I immediately respond, my eyes trailing down his body, then back up to his eyes.

When our eyes meet again, Austin licks his lips slowly and I nearly faint. Unable to control myself any longer, I wrap my arms around his neck and lower his face to mine, eager to pick up where we left off outside of the room.