Unwilling to CrossPaths

Who I'm Dealing With...

Excuse the Errors!!!

August

I somehow felled asleep with Em and woke up once I felt something wet on my arm. I thought it was Em drooling, but soon noticed she was crying and having a bad dream. She kept mumbling sorry as her face became wet with tears. For some reason I stopped myself from waking her up and watched her mumble sorry. I re-positioned her so she was facing me and held on her tightly. "It's okay, you don't have to be," she started to move and opened her eyes wiping her face quickly. We just looked at each other before she placed her face in my chest. It's was a still silence between the two of us.

"I was 17, a senior; a senior for three months exactly. Me and my boyfriend decided to stay home on a Friday instead of going to school. We were young, happy, and so in love. Of course, we were sexually active, our little secret. We were glad the walls couldn't speak. Well, we got a little carried away and a week later I was getting nervous. My body was changing, my taste buds were gone I only wanted cereal, and my period was taking too long to show up. I asked him did he think I was the next time he was over. He wanted to say yes, but said no because he didn't want to scare me even more. He knew I was going freak out, but we both knew the truth. One morning, my I experienced what people call morning sickness and knew it was only one reason why. Next day, my mother called before I walked out the door and asked if I was. All I could do was cry on that phone because I knew in that moment I let her down. I was what she wanted to prevent once she had girls. She knew the struggle, but instead of cursing me out. She was a mother that said it's okay. We talked and we decided what we thought was best. Unfortunately, my boyfriend didn't agree he wanted me to have it. He thought I would make the perfect mother, and had faith in me that I would accomplish all my dreams regardless. But I thought otherwise, so I ended it. I was very early so I took pills and missed a week of school. He was right there with me the whole week. I felt so bad, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I just hate that I had to make the decision and go against what he wanted."

She talked without taking break or looking me in my eyes. I know her eyes still had tears coming out of them. I felt her pain and another level of respect was formed. I rub her back, "Have you talked to him since high school?" "No and yes, we broke up right before I started my journey in college. It became complicated with us and eventually all contact stopped. I reached my own assumptions." She said sniffing. I moved her so I could turn on the lamp beside the bed. She stopped me, "Keep it off, please." "Ma, I wanna see your face." I switched it on and made her look at me. "You know I don't judge?" She nodded. "So, there is no need to hide in the dark. It's okay to cry especially when you are hurt. I understand where you coming from, but why is this so heavy on your heart." She was about to break down again so I started to rub her back. "Mia brought it up and made it seem like I was a hoe in high school. She was making me out to be the worse person because I was telling Claudette that she needs to tell Greg about her cheating." "That's why you were jail. Mia filed charges against you for whopping her ass." She nodded her head as I used my thumb to wipe the tears away. "So, Mia wasn't even supposed to be there?" She nodded again. "Did Greg know you supposed to be meeting up with his girl?" "No, he don't even know that I know his girl is cheating on him with my friend." "Your friend?" I said surprised. "Yes, Claudette is also seeing Craig. The dude I work with." I shook my head, "Messy and she felt the need to bring Mia there." "Exactly, she thought it would help but only made things worse. Now, my ass got a charge and got to go to court for some bullshit." "We going get all that cleared up so you gonna be good."

She moved back a little from me, "Ain't no we August when it comes to this. I'm going get through this with your help from the sideline. Nah, fuck the sideline. You gonna be in the stands, okay.?" "What you mean the stands. You my girl I ain'f finna let you deal with this by yourself." "I'm not. You gonna be there just at a distance meaning ain't no coming to court with me or nothing. That's all I'm asking." I sighed, "I try but if I feel like shit going left and you look too stressed out I'm walking in there." "No, you not. You gonna be there when I need to just cry in your arms and just vent." She said so strong and powerful that it made me realize that this is what Em needed. She just needed me to her person. We just stared at each other as I massaged her back and she played in my hair. As she played in my hair, I realized I acted like a complete ass this weekend and when I finally saw her. "I'm sorry for the way I acted." "It's fine. I understand you ain't know where I was." "Nah, I had my own insecurities after giving you the keys and you ain't react the way I wanted you to. I straight clowned on Stefanie this weekend." "You right, but I would've done the same if I ain't hear from you for a whole weekend." Plus, I thought you just lied to my nieces and forgot about them." "Oh shit, I'm so sorry. I was supposed to spend Saturday with them, but I was in jail. I was supposed to tell Stefanie to call her but it slipped my mind." "You had a lot going on I'm pretty sure they will understand." "That Em was in jail." She said looking at me with the really face. "Yeah, maybe you can't tell them that you were in jail, but they will understand life got a little hectic."