Unwilling to CrossPaths

Lonely/Wait

I graduate on Monday, May 15th and I lowkey don't know howI feel. I mean yes i know I should be excited and everything but it hasn't settled in. Anyways, here is a little update on the mess of Emerald and August.

"So, what you doing tonight?" "Right now, laying around the house. This snow got me not wanting to go nowhere." "I should come your way. You probably done baked two cakes by now." Emerald laughed, "Don't judge my lifestyle." "What flavors you bake?" "Strawberry and Chocolate." "Well, in that case I'm on my way."

Emerald jumped up out of her sleep from the dream she was having. She paced her breathing as she tried to shake the image of August and her on phone talking casually out of her head. Ever since Christmas, she's been having the same dream. Literally, them talking about snow, cake and him coming over. She told Stefanie and of course, Stef thinks she needs to just call the man. They haven't talked to each other since sleeping in the same bed on New Years. Emerald was just happy that they didn't sleep with each other, but to others, cuddling is the same thing. She got out the bed and went to the kitchen to get a drank of water. "Emerald just be a big girl," she said as she stared out into nothing. Taking a breath, she made her way back upstairs to grab her phone and head to the den. She flopped down on the couch and went through her phone to find his number. To quickly pressed the number and placed the call on speaker. She soon heard a fully awake but still tired August on the other end, "Hello" "Umm, hello August its me. You sleep?" She asked out of nerves. "Emerald, please tell me Emerald Camille is not currently on my phone?" "I just called because I needed to." "So, I'm awake and this is not a dream. Emerald, what's up?" "I don't know that's why I called. Nevermind I'm just going let you go." "No, don't hang up. We can just sit on the phone till you figure it out. I want to enjoy this moment for as long as I can." Emerald slightly smiled as she relaxed on the couch and felt the nerves slip away. "Why you lay in the bed with me?" "Because I wanted to. You know I still got love for you regardless of the bullshit." "You mean your bullshit." Emerald said side eyeing the phone. "How you and Matt?" "August" "Emerald, you know if you wasn't dealing with him you would be with me." "I'm not with you because you cheated on me August." "Yeah, that's what you want to believe. You know she ain't mean nothing. You just like playing games." "That's not true. I just prefer for you to be honest and loyal." "How about I come over? I'm in New York for a couple days." Emerald looked at the phone whispering "No." "Ummm, I don't think that's a good idea." "We need to talk and talking through this phone ain't work for you. Plus, I got something I want to play for you." "I guess so. I send the information." "No need," was August reply as he hung up. "This nigga know where  I live. I'm going kill Stef."

"I don't like when I hit you up, you don't call back
There ain't no need for all that

Breaking up, just to make up

Tell me when you had enough of this playing that you do, girl

But now you saying that we don't communicate

Don't you know communication travel both ways?

We been going through the motions for a few days

I'm so tired of fighting, girl, ain't you tired of fighting

Let's go back to being lovers, baby tell me how you like it

I can tell that you excited, is it true, girl?

If you think you're horny now

Come and let a real nigga slide through, girl

I will hit you so you know what to do, girl"

It was the lyrics August kept replaying in his head as he made his way over to Em's house. He sat in the back seat as the driver navigated in the snow that started to come down a little heavier. "Here you go sir," the driver said finally coming to a stop. "Thanks, you can head back. I'm not going back no time soon." August stepped out the car pulling his hood over his head and looking up to the tall building. It gave the lookings of an old warehouse or industrial building but the curtains in the windows telling you this was someone's home. "Where this girl living?" He said to himself looking around finding the building entrance. Walking up to the door he saw a buzzer and names. He spotted the E and knew it was her. "Hey, Emerald I'm outside," he said in the system. The door buzzed and he pulled it opened, "Damn, door heavily." He already knew what floor she lived on so he hopped on the elevator to the fourth floor and prayed this went well.

Emerald left the door unlocked as she looked herself over in the mirror. She was in her regular gear, hair in a bun, sweats and tank top. The sweats were an added addition since she was having company. The heard the door opening and looked over her shoulder to see him walking in. She walked over with butterflies in her stomach and August must've sensed. "Emerald, I'm the same person. No need to be nervous." "I'm not nervous," she said walking up to him. "So give me my hug." He reached out for her and she slowly stepped forward to give and get the embraced that they both wanted. They stood there in that moment enjoying something that hasn't happened in so long. "Let me take your coat," Emerald finally said. He took his coat off giving it to her so she could place it on the hook. "You know you short. Why you got everything so high up in here." August commented as he looked around her place. The ceilings were nowhere near his head and the windows started midway up the walls. So the curtains hung covering them. She had white and orange curtains that were thick and thin. She watched him as he took in her place of residence. He screamed Emerald and he wanted to pay attention to every detail. The tables that were placed intentionally next to the chairs and couches. "You like it?" "It's you. All you." "Thanks." He sat down on the couch, "You want something the drink or eat?" "What you got?" "I have some leftovers from earlier. Chicken, rice, and greens." "Cornbread?" "Yes, I have cornbread." "I'll take some."

After August finished his food and they left the small talk alone, they actually started to talk. "Why you cheat on me?" "Because I could and it was an easy thrill, to be honest. It had nothing to do. Grant it, you were busy all the time but that I nothing to do with honestly." "Did you every think I would find out?" "No, nobody knew about us." "Did you ever think about my feelings?" "No, I was being selfish and felt as long as you was still happy in the relationship it doesn't matter what I'm doing." They sat there silent. Emerald never asked questions about him cheating because once they called the quits pics and videos of him and her started to pop up everywhere so in a way she came to her own conclusions. "Did you give Max a try because we were done or did you really like him?" "Now, i'm going answer the question I think you asking. I didn't talk to Max until way after we broke up. He was a baseball player in the majors already and I was a full grown adult. So, yes I did start talking to him because I liked him." He nodded, "What are ya terms now" "We are not currently speaking on relationship terms. We keep in touch here and there as friends tho." "Emerald, you be killing with that friend zoning thing after you been with a nigga." "What? If I was friends with them before why can't I be friends with them after." "Because niggas still got feelings and that's not an easy transition." "That's a lie me and Clark are still great friends." "Whatever. If you ask that nigga to come over for some late night creep he will be here before he even gets the message."  Emerald busted out laughing, "That's not true. I believe he is in a relationship now." "But forreal, Emerald. You honestly can't think we can be friends after all this." "August, I think we can. I also think you don't want to. Look we were friends before when there was sexual tension between us." "But I have now experienced you in a relationship that's different." Emerald shrugged her shoulders.

"Listen to this song I wrote. I'm going fast forward to the verse I want you to hear and tell me you don't agree." He played that verse that he has been playing in his head since they got off the phone. He just hoped the message was sent along the way he wanted it too. As Emerald listened, she dared not to look at him and kept fidgeting with her fingers. Once the song was over August waited for Emerald to speak but there was nothing. "August communication only works when you have something to say to that person. I was hurt by your action and you still acted liked it wasn't a big deal. I went on in life and decided to never look at this again. I tried the dating thing but it was always something wrong with them. I was looking for you. I decided that I wouldn't do that and got Max. That didn't work because we both are busy and can't get it together. It never worked for us because you always somehow fucked up, but always say you got love for me. So, I hear what you saying but it ain't that simple." August pulled her close, "I'm saying I want this, you, us." Chills went down her back.