I Hate Myself but I Love You

Chapter 4

Laura's wound reeks of one of the few toxins I can immediately recognize, and not for a good reason. It was Maman's favorite because of its effects. At the first stage, the victim might not even know they are poisoned, or even injured because it blocks pain. At the second stage, the victim is in extreme agony and will want to die, if only to relieve the pain. At the third and final stage, the body will shut down slowly, leaving the person suffering until their inevitable death.

There is no cure for this, not that I can access. The poison even works on the undead, though they do not die and are tortured with the pain until it leaves their system. Maman made an antidote to make herself immune. Not even me, her "glittering diamond", was offered or given it. Though I suppose that isn't a surprise. Maman always looked out for herself, and if anyone else was helped or harmed along the way, it didn't matter to her.

My body trembles with the urge to sprint back to Maman's and wring her neck, even if she is in Ginger Two's body. Her trap didn't just hurt anyone, her trap is hurting Laura. My hands clench into fists and I know if I let loose and punch the wall like I want, the entire library will come crashing down on us in retaliation.

"Carm?" Laura reaches up with the arm that's not connected to her injured shoulder. She gently cups my face and I close my eyes, leaning into the touch. "What's wrong? Is it that bad?"

It's both good and bad news that she seems more focused. Good because she'll be able to hear and understand the gravity of this situation better. Bad because... the pain will be coming soon.

"It is poisoned, and not one that can be cured by any antitoxin we can get ahold of."

The ginger nerd swears quietly. Normally, I would tease them mercilessly, but not now.

"Will it hurt much? Because I'm not feeling much pain right now." Laura winces, a slight movement, but a sure sign that the second stage is starting.

"Sorry, cupcake." My throat closes on me and I choke back a sob. Oh gods, I am not prepared to lose her. She's so young, she can't die yet. She can't leave, not while things still aren't right between us. "But it's going to hurt a lot."

"Is it..." LaFontaine trails off, gulping audibly in the deafening silence of my anguish. "Is it fatal?"

"Yes," I whisper.

Saying it shatters my already broken heart because it makes it real. Laura, my Laura, is going to die. We may not be together but she is always mine, just as I am forever hers.

There is an invisible weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe, even though I have been dead for centuries and haven't had to since my death.

"Is there anything we can do?" Their voice breaks.

"There is one thing I can do. It comes with pain as well, and there is also a possibility that you will die. It's something I would never wish on anyone, especially you. Only with your consent will I do it." I tell her, knowing that she probably recognizes what I'm talking about.

"What is it?" LaFontaine asks.

"Turning Laura into a vampire."