I Hate Myself but I Love You

Chapter 6

I listen to Laura's heart beat and notice that it speeds up even more. My lips are so close to her neck I'm sure she can feel my breath.

It's a habit she observed and commented on when she had me tied up. Not breathing feels odd and unnatural, and adds to humans' discomfort in my presence. Their minds pick it up even if they're not aware of it and it puts them on alert.

I take a second to make sure I'm in control enough not to permanently kill her and kiss her neck. I hear LaFontaine turn away; they probably don't want to see one of their best friends being turned.

I silently apologize to the woman I love for not only doing this, but for putting her in a situation where this is the only option. I knew there are traps and if I thought of it sooner, if I had run a little faster...

Laura tilts her head, letting me know that she's ready.

I choke back the fear and the self-hatred and bite into her. Gently, at first, before I have to find an artery or vein to sink my fangs into. After centuries of being what I am, I have become adept at doing this and I find one within seconds.

Laura lets out a heart wrenching whimper and I curse whatever being made this an inevitable reality. She doesn't deserve this; she doesn't deserve any of what's happened to her.

I shudder at her taste, its better than I remember. Laura tastes like happiness and sunshine and the love I've yearned for. To be honest, it's almost indescribable.

The monster inside me begs me to drain this delectable treat dry but I love her with every cell of my body and the love wins. I have never turned anyone; I have never felt the urge to create any more monsters. There are enough of those in this world and I hate that I am corrupting such a beautiful soul. Maman was always too busy to teach me such trivial things. She had Mattie, who she entrusted to teach her "glittering girl" everything. I think Mattie only agreed because she saw something in the quiet, angry maiden I was. To her, I could be the companion she'd been wanting for centuries, a sister not in blood but in loyalty and devotion.

Thinking of her, my dead sister, breaks my heart. I am over the anger and I don't blame Laura. If she survives this, I'll be sure to tell her. It wasn't her fault.

Remembering the instructions Mattie gave me so long ago, I push the venom into her blood stream. Laura cries out but I force myself to ignore it. I can feel concern radiating off of the ginger, but they say nothing. My fangs don't seem to want to retract but they obey after a moment.

I lick the wound and it closes quickly, but there's a scar. The turning bite never fades.

I pull back and collapse onto the floor, my legs unwilling to hold me up after what I've done.

Laura's already turning paler, her heartbeat already slowing. She's unconscious and I bury my head in my hands, trying to hide the tears streaming from my eyes.

I just killed her.