I Hate Myself but I Love You

Chapter 26

"Hey, sweetheart." The man chuckles.

I'm standing in the background, a few feet from them. I know there's probably no danger (he's Laura's father), but my body's still tense. Laura turns to me suddenly like she's just remembering that I'm here. She looks back at her father, grinning.

"Dad, this is my girlf- This is Carmilla." Laura flushes, glancing at my shyly out of the corner of her eye.

I step forward and extend my hand. He takes it and smiles kindly at me (I can see where Laura gets hers from). "The vampire."

I freeze, my heart in my throat. How does he know...? We're shaking hands still, my muscles moving automatically. He lets go and Laura moves so she's by my side.

"I watched Laura's videos." He answers my silent question.

I reach for Laura's hand. Shit, does he know that I turned her? We exchange panicked looks. She certainly hasn't mentally prepared herself for telling her dad yet. I glance down at the plastic bags I'm carrying full of blood. There are so many ways this could go wrong. He hasn't staked me yet, so that's hopefully a good sign.

"I haven't been able to watch in a while." Mr. Hollis continues, not picking up on Laura and I's dread. Now I know where she got her annoyingly adorable obliviousness from. "The last one I saw had you saving Carmilla and killing Vordenberg."

Laura's shoulders slump and her lip quivers. She looks like she's just waiting for him to scold her. I draw myself up, ready to defend what she's done. I understand that she did it for me.

Well no, that's not true. I know she did it for me, but I don't understand. Why? Why save me after everything? I know she misses me, but that doesn't mean she loves me or wants to get back together. That slip up earlier with her almost calling me her girlfriend, it makes something that feels terrifyingly close to hope spark in my chest. After centuries, I have learned that hope is essential but for me, it's never done any good. I was hopeful with Ell. I was hopeful when I was in that wretched coffin, hopeful for an escape. I was hopeful when I finally got out of that coffin. I was hopeful about Laura and I's relationship. It doesn't turn out well.

But hope doesn't explain why Laura saved me. I was her first true girlfriend, maybe it was sentimentality. Sentimentality doesn't make someone throw away their morals and beliefs for just one person. I just don't understand, and I know I might never be able to.

"I'm so sorry." Mr. Hollis says with a distraught expression. "I'm so sorry you had to do that, Princess. I should've headed up sooner."

A lone tear escapes Laura's eyes and she hugs her father with one arm, not letting go of my hand.

"No offense, sir, but why are you here?" I ask.