Peterick One Shots

Panda Bear

A/N

Trigger warning: Cutting, suicide, emotional message at the end.

I wrote this a second time because my phone fucked up and deleted the first time I wrote it and I got really pissed off because the first one was like 1000 words and very inspirational and wasn't that sad then I got mad and now you get sad one shot. Have fun!

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God I want to end it im sick of this life I live I don't want it anymore. I want to slit my wrists hang from the ceiling, I don't want to suffer anymore.

I slit my wrists in a bathtub filled to the brim with water, red bloody water.

My phone beeped next to me, I saw it was a text from Pete or panda as he is in my phone.

'Hey Pattycakes how are you?'

'I'm alright' I replied as the stinging felt amazing on my raw skin.

'You sure? You don't seem okay'

'I'm fine'

'I'm coming over' He sent and that's when I jumped up and tried to clean everything up so he would never know.

He only lived like five minutes away so soon my front door opened since he has a spare key, "Patrick?!" I heard him call.

I dropped a bottle of shampoo as I was trying to clean the bathtub and then I heard footsteps running up the stairs, the bathroom door opened.

"Patrick!!!" Pete screamed slapping the blade out of my hand and holding my wrists, "I thought you stopped!!! Why would you do this?!?!? Think of you're family Patrick think of me!!! You're my best friend my fucking platonic soulmate!!! Why would you do this?!?!?! You're breaking my heart!! Something so delicate and beautiful wanting to end their life, why?!?!? I love you Patrick I love you" And then he smashed his lips into mine.

"Okay Panda bear I won't kill myself" I muttered into his chest as we laid there on the bathroom floor tear stained cheeks, were a mess.

*A few months later*

Stupid Pete, I know he's lying to me.

I am currently sitting on my bed writing a suicide note. Once that was finished I set it on my pillow and went to hang the rope tying a noose on it before dressing in my favorite shirt, jeans, shoes, fedora, my glasses and one of my favorite bow ties before putting the noose around my neck and standing on the chair.

But before I could jump the door opened, "Get down from there now!!!" Pete yelled sounding scared but I didn't listen. Instead I kicked the chair and fell. I heard a loud scream, a broken scream.

My life flashed before my eyes and I instantly regretted it, but it was too late, my vision went dark....

Petes POV:

God I'm crazy I haven't eaten, slept, wrote, talked, thought. I've just been empty. I put on my suit for the dreaded day, after today I have to be sent to a mental hospital.

Patrick's smile was beautiful, when he laughed I swear the sun got brighter. I wonder how many of his stories are untold or how many words he never said or feelings he never confessed.

The dreams he never accomplished, the things he's never done and the things he's never seen.

My best friend, my lover is dead. Losing a best friend is different from losing a lover because you tell your best friend everything.

It's like times get hard but better ones come, but they don't come immediately. Before it gets better the darkness gets bigger so once you overcome that darkness you will have the best days of your life.

Life is just something you have always lived, you don't remember anything before your life or after it, and if you kill yourself you give up the things you've never done or never seen.

You give up the good memories you've had. When you die you have to watch the people you care about stare into that casket and think it's their fault your gone that it's their fault you gave up.

When in reality it's neither yours or theirs fault it's just that you didn't want to live anymore, in you're mind and heart you were suffering and when you gave up you were just one day closer to happiness but you just couldn't handle it anymore.

Those nights you spend awake crying over how you'll never be good enough and wanting to end it all, just know this, life has good and bad moments it's life. Life sucks but sometimes it's the best time of you'll ever have.

The past happened you can't change it, the future is coming so be prepared but the present is a gift so hold it close to you because it'll slip away soon.

And remember you'll be alright because your heart is still beating so your alright. Before it gets better the darkness gets bigger, get through that darkness, don't let it win.....

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Ugh the first one was so much better but my fucking phone has to ruin it and get it deleted and now I'm mad about that but there's that crappy thing, I cried while writing the first one that no one will ever see but eh. I've been going through a lot like I've cried myself to sleep the past few night but no big deal.

Also check out fangzizabaws4290 because she's cool.

I must sleep now, by nemos!!!! NoNameNemo, Out!

Twitter: NoName........

Fuck it I can't pretend to be happy I'm really not, I'm only alive because I know I have you guys. Your the reason I keep living so I can keep writing these crappy stories you all love for some reason.

But to my panda bear who's probably reading this just know panda I love you (in a friend way of course) and I'm fucking sorry.........