A Dare

28

Maya's POV

I haven't spoken to Josh in 3 days, I didn't know what to say to him. That idiot risked his life for me. But... maybe I love that idiot. And maybe he loves me? Woah my head is aching. I walked into school and went to my locker, and an unexpected visitor waiting there.

Missy.

"What d'you want, Missy?" I groan, opening my locker.

"I just wanted to know how you're doing, considering the circumstances.." She sarcastically stated.

"I'm doing greaaaaat." I answered the same way.

"Well, you shoulda listened to me shouldn't ya(?)" she said laughing.

"Great thanks now could you just leave me alone?" I said as politely as I could, gritting my teeth.

"Haha have a nice life." She said and walked off, "oh wait," she stopped and turned around to me, "I don't care."

Nice start to the day. Hart.

***

After school was over I headed back to my house and, as usual, Mom wasn't home. As I walked in and closed the door, I noticed the TV was on in my room. I walked in and turned it off, must've forgotten to turn it off in the morning, I thought to myself. Wait. Since when do you l watch TV in the morning? The toilet flushed and the bathroom door opened and I swear I was ready to murder this intruder. This wasn't the right day to mess with me.

I stood in my room, waiting for them to appear.

"Oh hey, so you're home.." Josh said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

"What the hell- JOSH what are you DOING here?!" I scream in frustration, "and don't say 'home', this isn't your home or mine, at all. It never will be!" I shout, putting air quotation marks around home each time.

"I came here because I had to apologize." He said. "Now before you kick me out, or hit me, or scream at me or anything, let me talk. Please. I need to make this right."

"You know what go ahead, this day couldn't be any worse than it is right now so hit me with your best shot." I say as he sits on the end of my bed.

"Maya, I think still love you." He says, grabbing my full attention as I join him at the end of my bed, "please just hear me out."

"So you clearly took note of the 'hit me with your best shot',  didn't you" I say, trying to lighten the mood. But it didn't work.

"I'm really sorry, Maya. I really am. For everything. I know you hate me but trust me you can't e more than I hate myself right-"

"Josh." I stop him, placing my hand gently over his, which was shaking. "I don't hate you." I was surprised at myself when I said what I said. But when I did, I realised that I didn't. "I-"

"Maya I would do anything to have you back please." He said, standing on his knees, taking both my hands in his. Tears began to prickle in my eyes. I don't know what to do.

"I miss you Maya," he continues, "I miss your hugs, I miss your voice, your laugh, your smile, your hair. You. I miss us. I miss- kissing you every morning and every night. I miss holding you in my arms and knowing that you'll always be there for me, no matter how much of an idiot I would've been. " He started to choke on his words, "I thought Melanie meant everything to me. I thought I still loved her. That's why you saw me kissing her. I just had to know if my feelings were still there for her. But she took it too far. And all I could think about was how she was nothing like you. She was cold, tall, confident and she broke my heart. You were my warm, short little insecure blossom." he chuckled at his pathetic nickname, making me smile and look down at my lap and back at him, "She wasn't you. She destroyed me. You fixed me."

He stood up and turned around, wiping tears and cleared his throat before facing me again. "I tried to make things right. I never wanted to do this to you, but I was stupid back then. But Maya," he held my hand and pulled me up. "I loved you from the beginning. I kept telling myself I didn't but I did. Everything about you just made me love you that much more. You may started as a stupid reason but that gave me the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. You." He leaned in and kissed me.

I tried using everything in me and try and pull away but I couldn't do it. I kissed back, our lips moving in sync. I'm so mad at him but damn I missed his lips so much. I missed his hugs. I missed his touch.

I pulled away and mentally slapped myself around the face. "Josh I can't do this right now."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"For the time we've been apart a lot happened. You almost died, Josh." I choked on those words. "Because of me. And my 97 days clean, down the drain, Josh."

"What are you- oh my god. Did you?-" his eyes began filling with tears.

"Yeah Josh," I whispered, barely. "I was hurting too. And throughout the time we were apart, I kept telling myself that I hated you. I made myself think that I hate you. I used every force just within me to make me hate you and hate your existence and just EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!" I began punching his chest repeatedly, "I wanted to hate you so bad, but I couldn't.." I said, sadness quickly replacing my anger, my punches weakened and I had barely any strength and I fell on my red carpet floor. Tears completely streaming down my face. Everything hurt. "I couldn't because I loved you. And I still do." I sobbed into my hands.

Josh sat down on the floor and pulled me gently beside him, leaning on the end of my bed and put his arm around me. Kissing my head he said, "I love you too. What a mess we are." He chuckled and rubbed my arm slowly and gently.

"A big mess." I laughed.

A/N: y'all listen ok this is a shitty chapter as they all are but the feels fucking got to me and I'm crying at my own fucking fanfic.

ps I love you♡