Tearing Paper

Radars

He was not okay.

She could feel it. She felt it inside her. The urge to fall and crumble to the ground scorched her from her core, making her sweat uncontrolably in the middle of the cold night.

She had to get to him…

But why? Why was she so sure that he was out there, weak and frail, dying?

Ah, right—the radars.

Since they were little, everybody had always told them that they had special radars that connected them together.

Radars other people did not have.

Radars which made her sure that no matter how far she had left him behind, a part of him was still living inside her.

She used to believe in her radars so much. And now, the longer she tried to ignore them, the stronger they push back to the surface.

Begging for her respond.

She sat on her bed, knowing that she could no longer deal with all these mixed feelings.

She took her coat and left her room.

-

“Late night work, Nate?”

“Ah, thank you,” Nate said to the sleepy waitress as she served a third dose of coffee on his table. Nate sighed as he rubbed his watery eyes. This was totally unhealthy—spending every night in the café, facing an open document that he knew he could never finish. He buried his face in his hands, but he soon turned to the café door when he heard it creaking.

“Wow, you got company, Nate!” Another waiter cracked from his working table.

Nate couldn’t help but smile as he saw Dianne walk inside. What was she doing here, an hour before midnight? Her eyes were wide open, but he knew she had failed so many attempts to sleep. Without looking in his direction at all, she slipped her hands into her coat pocket and sat in her usual table.

“Not your usual schedule, I see?” Nate closed his laptop and turned to her. Dianne gave him a half-smile while sipping her hot espresso. “Hm-m.”

“Insomnia?”

“I’m not feeling so good,” Dianne finally replied, trying to keep her voice low enough from the other café guests to hear. Nate signalled her to come to him. “Just remember that no matter how bad you’re feeling… there’ll still be a more pathetic loser.”

“What?” Dianne laughed as Nate showed her his Microsoft Word screen. “That freaking island drives me nuts. I’m so gonna get fired.”

“Sorry if my help isn’t enough,” Dianne bit her lip, remembering how talkative Nate made her when he first told her he was writing about Namari Island.

There was an awkward silence between them—Nate was drowned in his thoughts about Dianne, while Dianne… Something kept on piercing her from the inside, something that finally made her give up. She recklessly let the sentence she had long kept in her heart out of her mouth, loud and clear.

“I need to go to Namari Island.”

“I need to go to Namari Island too, or else I’ll never finish this stupid article,” Nate stared at her in confusion, surprised that they were both having the same dilemma.

Dianne locked her eyes on him for quite long. There were no words needed—just two minds with the same motive, and without much due, they both said in determined voices, “Okay.”

“We’ll go there… together?”

“That would be amazing,” Nate smiled. For the first time, he ignored the radars that told him not to let a girl into his life again.