The Light Of My Life

Thirty

-The End is Near...
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Then my eyes saw our wedding picture, she's very beautiful that day. Despite her morning sickness, despite of her not being feeling well that day she managed to still look even beautiful. She's so alive in that picture her smile, the glow in her face and the brightness in her eyes.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at pumunta sa kusina, I was about to open the ref to get some water. Then I saw a piece of paper, noon ko lang napansin ang note na nakalagay sa ref. Babe, I bought you some beer, in case you need it. Huwag ka ng iinom sa labas okay. I'm just worried. :) I love you, always and forever. Alis lang ako.

She hates alcohol, and she don't like to put some notes even paper bills in the ref. But she did it for me, to inform me about this. Kumuha ako ng beer at ininom ito, maybe she's right. I need this, maybe the alcohol can take away all the pain. Maybe after getting drunk, everything will be back. She will be back again. I just hope this is just a bad dream.

Naupo ako sa sala at binuksan ang t.v, pero nagulat ako ng magplay ang wedding video namin. Then I remembered, umuwi ako ng gabing yon na lasing. Naabutan ko siyang pinapanuod ang wedding video namin dalawa. It was a very, simple, and intimate but serene wedding. The visitors was just my 3 friends, my mom, dad and Eclaire, my grand mother who went home from Canada, her legal attourney, some closest relatives. Nasa tatlumpo lang kame ng araw na yon. She wanted our wedding that way. I even told her, to hire a wedding designer but she refused. She's pregnant and I want her to hired a wedding coordinator but she told me she can managed and told me not to worry.

She wore a very simple white dress, and it not even cost me thousand. Habang pinapanuod ko ang wedding video naming dalawa ay di ko mapigilan ang mapaiyak.
Mas napaiyak ako sa wedding vow namin dalawa, parang naririnig ko pa kung paano niya ito sinabe. And it make me cry more.

Babe, first I want to thank God for giving you to your parents because you have a wonderful family. You grew up strong just like your dad and wonderful just like your mom. And I also want to thank God for blessing me with you. I never expected to have you in my life, you've been my protector, bestfriend, my partner, the one who stood beside me and cheer me when I'm in my lowest and darkest side of my life and now my husband and a father to our child. Thank you for the love, and I promise to stay here with you forever, I will support you, I will do everything to be the best wife and mother. And when everyone turn their back on you, look in front of you cause beside with God, I will always be here for you no matter what. Now that God answer my prayer to send me a person I can live mylife with, I will cherish for the rest of my life this moment. Because this is a once in a life time moment, worth to remember. I love you Mr.Chen. always and forever.

Then my almost broken vow.....

Elle, I should be the one thanking God for sending a very wonderful, beaitiful and a woman with a good heart and personality. I maybe the first one to be tied in marriage between the four of us, my friends but I simply knew it was worth it, everything about you is worth it. You're everyman dream, I was so blessed that God sent me someone like you. I may not promise not to hurt you, since I know we will face more happenings in our journey. But one thing is for sure I won't leave you. I promised to your mom that I will protect you and I will love you until forever. Thank you for loving an asshole like me, I love you Mrs.Chen. Today everything is all about us. God you bless me.

I let myself be drown from the alcohol, but it hurts so much. Why do I let myself, do this to my wife.

"Babe, wake up! Wake up Babe!".