But Then I Met Her | ✓

Chapter 54

I stand guard in the control room, watching images from the security cameras on the screens. I get tired of standing and yawn, dropping into a chair. This is boring. Why can't I be out there shooting the damn Abnegation?

Your job is more important. I think. But of course that has to be a lie. Why can't I be out there with a gun. I'm a good shot- better than Eric. I should be out there. I hear the door open. I ignore it, guessing that it's probably Dan or someone, and that they'll talk if they have to.

"Tobias?" comes a small voice. I turn around. My eyes lock on the small girl from earlier, the one in the jacket that's about a size too big. I stand up, but I feel confused. Why would I want to shoot Tris? I think as I raise my gun.

"Drop your weapon." I say.

"Tobias," she says. "You're in a simulation."

"Drop your weapon," I aim at her head. "Or I'll fire."

She places her gun at her feet, but the words still come out of my mouth for some reason. "Drop your weapon!" I shout.

"I did." Her voice sounds taunting. She's weaponless- she's in no position to taunt me. Stupid little girl. She's not stupid. I think, but I don't know why.

She runs at me then, grabbing my wrist. I pull the trigger, but she's too quick. She ducks and the bullet hits the wall behind her. She gasps and kicks my ribs, twisting my wrist hard. Pain flares up in my arm, and I drop the gun. Shit.

She dives for the gun, but I grab her and wrench her to the side. Her eyes are filled with hope and fear and something else, though what I'm not sure. I pull my fist back and punch her in the jaw, ignoring the twisting feeling that tugs at my stomach.

She flings her hands up to protect her face. She kicks me in the stomach, but I grab her foot and pull her down. For a minute I see her eyes go empty, but then she just looks plain angry. She stares at me for a minute, and I pull my foot back to kick her. She rolls onto her knees, grabbing for the gun.

I grab her by the hair and yanks her to the side. She tries to grab my wrist, by I slam her forehead into the wall. "Tobias." She says. I grip loosens for a second, and she twists and kicks, her heel connecting with my leg. She dives for the gun on the floor and flips onto her back, the gun pointed at me.

"Tobias," her voice is calm. "I know you're in there somewhere."

That's it, you little bitch. You're dead. I start toward her, ready to kill her. She stands up, tears forming in her eyes. "Tobias, please." she begs. I get a flash of a memory, of a girl with blonde hair down in the Chasm, me kissing her. It's gone before I can focus on it. "Please. See me." Her hand trembles, the gun shaking. Tears run down her face. Pathetic. "Please see me, Tobias, please!"

I scowl at her. She turns the gun in her hands and presses it against my palm. I snatch it from her and press the barrel of it to her forehead. Her tears have stopped, and she reaches out and rests her hand over my heart. This really confuses me- aren't we enemies?

I click the bullet into the chamber. She closes her eyes, a sniffle making her shoulders and breath hitch. I take her in for a minute. She is pretty, but I have to kill her, I have to. I place my finger over the trigger.

I don't fire. She opens her eyes, blinking at me in confusion. "Tobias," she says quietly. "It's me."

She steps forward and wraps her arms around me. Her cheek is pressed against my chest over my heart. I drop the gun and grab her shoulders. For a minute I'm ready to kill her, to get rid of her. She cries out, and whatever hold they had over me is gone.

"Tris?" I ask in disbelief.