99 Skinny • Adopted by 5sos #Wattys2016

Chapter 65

D A I S Y

The next day, while we were all cleaning up the house after last night, I had decided to pull Luke aside and discuss last night.

"Luke, can you come help me with something in the kitchen?" I asked him.

Luke dropped an empty red cup into his trashbag then nodded and followed me into the kitchen. Everyone else was in the living room room or in the back yard, so the kitchen was a perfect place to talk.

I avoided his eyes and cleaned the kitchen, picking up empty cups and dropping them into the trash.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing how I avoided eye contact and tried to distract myself.

"Do you remember kissing anyone, last night?" I asked him, finally looking up and meeting his eyes.

His blue eyes met mine, holding a look of worry. There was dark circles under his eyes from his hangover and the events of last night, his hair was a bit messy, and his skin was pale. Basically, he was a mess.

"Um. . . Kind of," he hesitantly replied.

"Do you remember who it was?"

"No."

"It was me."

Panic spread across his face and he started pacing and chewing on his botton lip.

"Are you serious?" he ran a hand through his hair.

"Yeah. And you said you liked me," I said while nervously playing with my fingers.

"And. . . I think I like you back," I added.

Luke sighed.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted. "I'm torn between you and Jacob, but Jacob probably doesn't even love me anymore and -"

"Let's just keep this a secret," Luke lowered his voice. "And we can take some time to think about our feelings."

I nodded. "Okay."

"I'm going back out to the living room," he murmered, walking out the door.

I turned and went back to cleaning, my mind clouded with thoughts of Luke and Jacob.

***

Once we finished cleaning Ashton and I drove to the hospital.

"We have our new tour coming up," Ashton started the conversation.

"Are you excited?" I asked, watching trees and cars pass by.

"Yeah. I've missed being on stage," he mumbled, pulling up to a stop light.

A Justin Beiber song came on the radio, and I was instantly brought back to Jacob and I's first date. Apparently I had started smiling at the thought, because Ash started to tease me.

"What, do you like the Beibs or something?" Ashton joked.

"Jacob was playing Justin in the car on our first date," I sighed, wishing I could turn back time to that night.

We pulled in to the hospital parking lot.

"I'll wait here," Ashton said.

I nodded and got out the car and went inside. After I signed in I went to Jacob's room. Right as I was about to open the door, I heard a female voice and assumed it was his mom.

I considered turning around and leaving, since his mom and I did not get along, but I came here to see him so that's what I was going to do. Even if it meant facing that bïtch.

I sighed and opened the door. It wasnt his mom. Instesd it was Jaz. She turned at the sound of the door creaking open.

"Hey, Daisy," she smiled at me.

"Hey. . . Why are you here?" I curiously asked, coming over and standing beside her.

I reached down and brushed Jacob's hair out of his face.

"I was driving by and decided to just come in and check on him," she shrugged and looked down at her phone.

"Oh, my mom's telling me to hurry up. Bye, Daisy," Jaz said.

I barely had time to say goodbye before she was out the door. That was a bit strange, but I thought nothing of it.

I sat down and picked up Jacob's cold hand.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I still love you."

I felt guilty for kissing Luke, and for having possible feelings towards him, and for all I've put Jacob in. I was sorry for breaking up with him, and I was sorry for kissing another guy, and I was sorry that Jacob probably hated me.

I played with my ring and allowed a few silent tears to love me.

"Please wake up," I squeezed his hand.

I swear I felt a squeeze back, but passed it off as my imagination.

"Daisy, come on. I have to go home and make dinner."

I jumped and turned to face the door. Ashton stood there, swinging the key around his index finger. I nodded and gently set Jacob's hand back down. After glancing at his body one more time, I followed Ashton out the door.

***

*trigger warning*

I ate my whole plate of food this dinner. Ashton was happy and thought it meant I was getting better, but I was really getting worse.

A few days ago I had looked up binge eating disorder and my behavior was seeming to match to someone's behavior that had the disorder.

Eating alone, feeling guilt or shame after binging, gaining weight. I wasn't noticeably gaining weight, but I had secretly used Calum's scale to weigh myself and I had gained a few pounds.

I was now 104 and above 99 pounds. The thought made me sick.

After I ate I went upstairs and locked myself into my room. I sat on my bed, wanting to cry and feeling disgusted in myself. I pinched at my thighs and stomach.

Why did I eat that? I look more fatter than I did before.

I retrieved the familiar silver blades from their hiding space and cut my thigh until I was nearly dizzy. After cleaning myself up I sat on my bed, feeling sick.

And then came the worst thought.

Now Jacob won't love me.

***
Early update whoops. Next update will be like Wednesday or something idk

If you skipped the end basically she ate a full meal and self-harmed.

But thank you guys for all of your ideas, I now have up to chapter 70 planned out. Tbh Im excited for chapter 69 & 70 bc shït goes down and all hèll breaks loose ok

But please vote and comment :)

stay positive. ily <3