I cant even... Connor Franta. (fan fiction of course)

Chapter four. (You made it this far!)

"When I said, 'please and thank you' to your suggestion of being social instead of a buzz kill.... I didn't mean go and ruin the night of some guy you had just met in that fricken moment! What the hell were you thinking?!" Izzy yelled at me as we sat outside on Kian's porch. 

"I didn't mean to take it that far.... He was just.... Getting on my nerves. And he took my punch." I tried to defend my self. 

"You wanted punch?! Here! Take mine! Don't fricken call me a slut for just giving it to you!" She forced her cup into my hand. 

"I'm sorry. Parties just aren't my thing. And talking to people is not what anti-social sloths do. I'll just leave..." I stood up and turned towards the door. 

"Hold up! You're not going anywhere. Firstly, you're not leaving point blank. Secondly, you're definitely not leaving until you apologize to that poor guy in there." She punished me. 

"If that'll make you feel better. Fine." I continued walking into the house as Izzy quietly whispered something. 

"Although that argument was completely uncalled for, it was pretty fricken funny. And it made me proud how you stuck up for yourself. Now go." She encouraged me. 

I smiled as I strolled into Kian's house, looking around for Connor. I didn't see him, but I did see Kian. I approached him slowly, making sure I wasn't interrupting anything. 

".. hey Kian?" I politely questioned him. 

"Yeah, Hayden?" He replied back, still with his smiling face. 

"Do you know where Connor is? I feel really bad about what I said... I wanted to apologize." I confessed to him. 

"Oh, don't feel sorry. Connor's put up with way worst. He was asking for it too. He's normally a really happy person, but after what happened with his girlfriend, he's been pretty down. I think I saw him over by the bathroom? Like in the hallway or something." Kian explained and directed me towards the bathroom. 

I brushed past a lot of people, all with red solo cups in their hands. Kian and all these youtubers must be really hecka famous. How do they put up with all this socialness? 

I spotted Connor leaning against a wall, hands still in his pockets, eyes staring at some picture in front of him. 

I'll be honest, I don't hate Connor, but at the time being he's not my favorite person. He's definitely attractive though. His hair is cute, his smile is adorable, and well everything about the way he looks just screams perfection. (Watch his videos to get a good idea of what he looks like! They're pretty entertaining too!) 

"Hey." I said. It gave an awkward start to our conversation. 

"Hello." He replied, without even meeting my gaze.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what I said. The thing is, I just don't have a filter. I say the first thing that comes into my mind. And it wasn't my best word choice." I apologized to him. 

"Have you ever loved someone so much that just hearing a voice similar to theirs, drives you over the edge? Practically jams a dagger into your heart? It just kills you inside. Or maybe someone who looks ever so similar to the way the person you loved looked. But, you know it's wrong to think about the person you love, because they hurt you. They shouldn't be thought of. But how can you not? It seems as though someone out there is sending you signals on purpose to think about them. I just don't get it. Why would someone do that?" Our conversation topic completely and randomly changed. 

"I can't say I've ever had that feeling. But I have been driven over the edge by someone. They were too much for me to handle. Way too perfect. I didn't see or hear them everywhere, but when I would talk or look at the actual person, I'd mentally go running into their arms, accepting them for all that they are and were and did to me. Because love is a confusing thing, and it confuses even the smartest of people. And hurts even the strongest of us all." I answered him fully, hoping to help his heart ache. I suddenly had pity for the guy I made fun of less than half an hour ago. Strange turn of events. 

"So true." He stared back into my eyes. His were dark. Almost as if a storm was flooding them. Making them this almost scary dark blue color. I, then, became aware of a distinct aroma of alcohol coming from Connor. Crap. I've been having a deep conversation with a person who won't even remember this in the morning. Because he's fricken intoxicated. I don't blame him. I'd want to get drunk after that worse of a breakup as well. 

"So tell me, how did you get rid of those feelings, Hayden?" Connor continued on in our conversation. 

"Well. I can't say I ever officially 'got rid of' them. They're still partially there. Just not as strong. Before those feelings hit me like a full on wind storm, now they just come like a light breeze. It's not the perfect scenario, but it's something I can handle." 

"I'm waiting for my storm to pass too." Connor sympathetically told me. I leaned on the wall next to him, mimicing his exact stance. I turned to face him and he looked up at me at the same time. "Why don't we help this storm die down?" He suggested. The next few moments weren't what I was expecting. But he was drunk. So, anything could happen. 

He moved his body so his arms were on either side of me, placed on the wall, and his face was directly in front of mine. And he put his lips on mine. We kissed for probably a total of 6 seconds before my mind caught up to the moment we were in. I pressed my hands on his chest and pushed him off me, slapping him in the midst. He grabbed his now red cheek and looked back at me.

"You're kidding me right now. You know I actually felt bad for you for a second. And then you go using me for THAT." I said, kind of pissed. 

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing I swear." He attempted to apologize. 

"You know what-- it's fine. We're even." I anounced. 

"It wasn't about getting even, I... my body just had the urge to you know... and--" 

"You drank too much? Yeah. I could taste it on your breath. Just don't touch me again, okay? And we'll get along just fine." I started to walk off and away from him, but I remembered his cheek and I turned around. He looked up at me with worried eyes, still holding it. 

"Lemme see." He removed his hand and I tilted his chin to the left so I could see the imprint on his face. "I'm sorry for that." I huffed. 

"It's fine. Like you said. We're even." He mumbled. I looked into his eyes one more time, and kissed his hurt cheek. Extremely gently. He winced, but reached for my waist. 

"No. I told you not to touch me." He lifted his hands in surrender and I walked off, muttering, "Just forget that ever happened." 

He never did.

~Author's note: Excuse spelling errors! it's pretty late as I'm typing this! haha! I hope you enjoyed! I sure had fun writing it! hope you're having an amazing day wherever you may be!! .xx :);):D<3~