Merely Lust

chapter 15

They'd been out at sea for a couple hours; Nikolas at the helm, Iris sitting nearby. Nikolas didn't stop the yacht till they were beyond sight of land. He wanted privacy and this was as close as they could get. If he went any further, he'd be leaving Cuban waters and the Cuban government would not appreciate that breach of protocol. He had to drop anchor to make sure the yacht didn't drift with the waves. Iris watched him move about the vessel curiously. It was a study for her; she'd never been on a boat, much less a yacht. Everything was electronic and high tech. The control panel looked like a ton of gibberish to her. It was full of charts and graphics in a multitude of colors that she simply couldn't understand. She knew one of them was a sonar because it looked similar to those she had seen in films but everything else was a mystery. 

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Iris was leaning over the beeping panel when Nikolas returned. He paused to admire her form. He thought again how crazy that first night had been. He'd never felt so hot; so damn turned on. Every night afterwards he had tossed and turned in bed, an image of her burned into his skull. Now that he had her, he found himself even more addicted; this thing with Iris was becoming an obsession and while he didn't feel trapped, his instincts were telling him to back out while he still had the willpower to do so. He had a plan to stop the obsession but second thoughts and guilt were eating away at his conscience. Still, it was simply a survival tactic; he liked his life just as it was and being single played a huge role in his lifestyle. After he completed his end of the bargain, the divorce papers would be drawn up immediately. He couldn't start getting comfortable with being a husband; it just wasn't like him. Iris made it too easy; half the time he didn't even remember they were married. It simply felt natural to wake up with her beside him. That was the scariest part; the ease with which she had become a part of his life. Nikolas watched her straighten up, his eyes following the curve of her spine as she moved to the wheel. Her fingers touched it tentatively and he saw her physically jump when he called out to her. 

"You persist in frightening me." she murmured. 

Nikolas could see that her thoughts, much like his, had been far away. Her expression was dreamy; far too dreamy for her to have been thinking about the ship. His palm reached out to her cheek and she nuzzled against it. Nikolas liked this side of her- vulnerable, tender, wistful. His phone began to ring and prevented him from telling her this. He turned slightly away from her in order to answer the call. He knew who it would be and didn't want Iris overhearing. 

"Hey there."

"Mon cher!"

Nikolas sneaked a look at Iris but she was once again walking about the cabin.

"It's not the best time."

"Ooo so touchy. I only call to make certain you have not changed your mind darling. I would hate to fly to Cuba without purpose."

"I have not changed my mind but I can't discuss it now, I'll call you back at a more opportune time."

"Au revoir!"

Nikolas felt ridiculously guilty when he tucked the phone back into his pocket. Was it wrong... it

must be. Still, there was no going back. Iris leaned back against the wheel, her eyes unguarded

and trusting. The pang of guilt grew in size till it nearly knocked him breathless.

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Nothing," he sighed, "don't worry about it."

"But if it's-"

"It's nothing important Iris."

Iris stared at him in silence. She knew there was something about the phone call that he wasn't

telling her but she didn't want to press him. He would tell her of his own volition if it were truly

important; she had to believe that or she would start doubting everything. So what if Nikolas had his mysteries? Who didn't? It was nonsensical to start worrying over every detail. 

"Okay, I believe you. I just want you to know I'm here to listen if anything is troubling you."

Nikolas groaned on the inside. Why did she have to go and say something like that? He couldn't

believe the levels of shame he was capable of feeling. All that nonsense about Vampires not

having a conscience or a soul or a heart was utter bullshit. He happened to have all three and right now, they were telling him he was making a big mistake. However, his mind was simultaneously telling him it was the only solution. Nikolas liked to think he was a rational thinker and a rational thinker wouldn't allow his conscience to get in the way of an important decision... right?