You Can't Stop Love (BOOK1)

Chapter 32 - She's killing me ✔

The stupid bastard forgot to put on a condom.

But.. Why is it that I'm picturing the memory that he did put one on? I think I just got lost and forgot him putting one on. For sure.

He tightened his grasp around my stomach and kissed my cheek "Morning gorgeous," He said and I smiled.

I'm shocked that we are actually cuddling instead of arguing. I would've fallen into the bottomless pit to know that we wouldn't work things out.

Even thinking about me and Ethan over.. It's horrible and depressing. He loves me in a weird way and I love him in a weird way. I love his smile, his confused expression, the way he clenches his jaw and fists when something bugs him, the way he talks about his niece and the happy things that occur in his life, the way he stares at me.

Everything about him.. No one will understand us. Wayne still can't grasp onto the fact that we are together.

Well I'm not sure I'll still call us being together after these past two months.

"What's up with the hard ass thinking face?" He asked me.

I twisted my head and stared down at him. He was smiling happily and I stared down at his lips and moved my head to kiss him.

Finally. A normal kiss. A kiss that made my butterflies wake up from being dead and flutter once again.

Backing away, I smiled at the wanting more face of Ethan's and pushed away his white sheets and he let go from my stomach. I tiredly got up from his bed and walked to his drawers.

I could feel his eyes piercing inside of me "Stare all you want Ethan," I said loudly and he whistled.

"God I'm one lucky man to get you to love me and get you in bed," He said while I put on a pair of knickers from a drawer he let me take to store stuff of mine long ago.

I looked over at him and caught him smiling away at my naked body.

"Perv," I muttered and he chuckled.

Opening one of his drawers, I took out a grey hoodie of his and quickly put it on and smiled at him as I walked towards the door.

"Want coffee?"

"Yes baby," He said before my cheeks blushed on overload.

I shut the door and walked down the stairs. Walking over to the kitchen, I turned on the coffee machine and poured two cups for ourselves when I heard footsteps stomping down on the stairs.

I slowly turned around and stared at Ethan.

Naked.

"Shit Ethan!" I yelled after turning around and placing my hand on my forehead "Put some clothes on!"

As I said, the perv, just laughed and I heard him walk towards me.
Placing both mugs in front of me on the kitchen counter, he wrapped his arms around my waist and started to kiss my neck and knibbled on my earlobe.

This feels.. So perfect and amazing..

He let go from me and I grabbed my mug and made my way to the backyard.

"I'm gonna go put a pair of boxers on ok?" He told me and I laughed.

I sat down on one of the deck chairs and stared at the perfect blue colored pool and took a sip from my mug.

The sun's shining and I just wish for an nice day with no arguments, for nothing bad to happen.

Hearing Ethan's phone ring, I placed my mug on the floor and got up from the deckchair. Walking back inside, I stared down at his phone on the dining table.

"Can you get that for me?" He yelled and I yelled a quick ok back.

Picking up his phone, I stared at caller ID.

Martina.

"Who the hell is Martina?" I yelled, feeling the anger form inside of me.

He didn't answer back but instead ran down the stairs and snatched his phone from my hand.

Answering it, I stared at him angrily.

"Martina? Why are you calling me?" He asked the girl on the other line and I could hear her voice but couldn't make out what she was saying.

But whatever she said, made Ethan ask her a question that I didn't want to hear "Are you sure it's even mine?"

I rolled my eyes and walked back outside and sat down on the deck chair angrily, waiting for him to end the phonecall.

Finally after 20 minutes, he was done.

Ethan

No. It can't be. It just can't fucking be.

I'm not ready to become a father.

The baby.. It can't be mine. I mean Martina is a stripper for god's sake, she most probably had so much sex with guys after me, why is she calling me to tell me I will be a father to a child I do not want.

I walked in shock towards Jenni who had a resting bitch face slapped on her.

Sitting near her on one of the deck chairs, I stared at her and finally she spoke "Tell me everything now,"

I nodded and placed my hand on her hand and squeezed it "Remember when I cheated on you with that stripper?" She nodded "Well, she's.. She's pregnant now and.. Fuck I don't even know what to say," I felt weak tears brim in my eyes but it's my fault this is happening.

I brought it all onto myself.

I felt Jenni's eyes on me when I sniffled and was taken by surprise when she moved away her hands and cupped my face " You can't stop that baby and don't you dare ask her to abort it, you hear me Ethan? I will be there for you through it I promise, but if I ever see that baby, I will hate the fact that it's from another woman. I love you Ethan, but how about we take it slow with us being girlfriend and boyfriend again ok? On Valentine's Day, I will tell you if I want to be with you or not ok?" She said to me and my heart twisted by her last words.

Valentines Day is in one week and a half.

"I love you so much. My soul honors your soul, I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty and peace within you because it is also within me. In sharing these things, we are united, we are the same. We are one. I hope you will forgive me for my mistakes. Please," Everything I just said came from my heart and she blushed, chuckled and looked away from my pleading eyes.

She felt embarrassed. God she looks so gorgeous when she feels embarrassed.

"Look at me," I told her and she stared down at me and smiled "I used to picture us holding hands, watching movies, sitting on benches beneath old oak trees, hearing your laugh throughout the day and catching you smile when you think I don't see. I wish the whole world knew about us. I hate keeping a secret like that. I have dreams of us being able to go out and not being scared to get caught. We have to soon tell, please," I pleaded.

Everyone needs to know. This secret is destroying my heart and brain, shutting down my organs and making me feel crazy inside. I'm taking sleeping pills to help me at night. I can't even sleep with the fact that Jenni is always on my mind and it's killing me.

Last night when she was asleep and I was fake sleeping, I took a couple and slept.

It's killing me.

She's killing me.

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