Finally Matured

When Will She Come Back

Kakashi stayed by her side for days. Only leaving to go to the restroom. He barely ate even when Tsunade would stand by his side yelling about his health for the babies. Oh and the babies he hadn't even seen them or held them. It's not that he didn't want to, but he couldn't. His dream was holding his children for the first time in front of their mother for the first time. He could imagine Sakura smiling at him and he looked down at the small infants so new to this world in wonder. If he tried to hold them now he knew that he would only see her as she in now. It's not that she didn't look good she actually had recovered. Tsunade said that her body appeared perfectly fine it was only a matter of waiting for her to wake up. When will she wake up? Kakashi would ask this every time Tsunade visited and every time his answer would be the same. Only time will tell.

He was so tired of that answer. Why did he have to wait? Why did Sakura have to disappear again? She was supposed to be standing by his side holding onto his hand pulling him to do things he never wanted to do, but since she was there he would. She was supposed to be rocking their children to sleep while he held them all in his arms. Why was the idea of a simple family so far fetched for Kakashi? Why did destiny keep testing his will at every turn? Stroking her head repeatedly he could feel his tears roll down his face being absorbed by his mask. He buried his head into the pillow holding hers as well breathing heavily as he got more worked up. 

"Just open your eyes Sakura. I can't do this alone. How could these kids love the man that couldn't save their mom? I thought you said we could have a daughter together? What happened to this family?!" He started yelling into the pillow. He breathing still jagged he held her sleeping face in his hands. "What happened to standing at my side forever Sakura? This isn't forever my love." He whispered gently resting his head against hers. 

~ 

Three weeks had past and only one thing had progressed. Kakashi had finally agreed to see the kids. It took both Gai and Iruka to convince him to go, but finally Kakashi had agreed. Tsunade knew that it was better if he first held them away from Sakura so he could be by himself and process the reality he had to face now. He was a single father for the foreseeable future. He needed to realize this first hand and come to terms with it in his own way. 

At noon there was knock on the door to the nursery at the hospital. Since the children had been here for a long time they converted an unused room into a secondary nursery for their extended care. The staff at the hospital had obviously tried their best to decorate it as best as they could trying to make it seem more at home for the children, but hopefully they wouldn't have to keep up the effort for much longer. 

"Come in!" Tsunade answered smiling hopefully at the possibility of Kakashi's acceptance. Sakura might not come back to them so she needed these children to have at least a father in their life. 

In walked Iruka smiling and waving to the Hokage only to be slowly followed into the room by Kakashi being pushed by Gai giving a thumbs up to the Hokage. The children were still in a separate room getting fed and changed along with the other infants. The Hokage motioned for them to take seats in the chairs in the room. She looked over Kakashi to try and guess his mental state from his physical appearance. The first word that came to mind was awful. His hair was messier than usual and spiking the wrong way from being pulled on so much from his hands. He had also lost a lot of weight. Kakashi was always a lanky man, but muscular. Now it looked like there was just skin stretched over his frail bones. It's like he started to whither away the day Sakura did't wake up. The hospital was keeping Sakura's health regulated, but for Kakashi there was only so much they could do without strapping him down and feeding him properly. He was technically in his right mind and able to make his own choices so there wasn't much that could be done.